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Drunkalilly
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PostSubject: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyWed 10 Aug 2016 - 22:23

I was going back through the Whose That Pokémon thread following its resurgence, laughing at our old pics, and came across this exchange:
JayMoyles wrote:
"Alternate Pokedex entries" would be a top thread idea. Laughing
Balladeer wrote:
It's your idea, Jay: care to do the honours? Thumbs Up! Could make it a game - suggest a Pokémon for the next person to do.

in response to this:
Spoiler:
 

It got lost in the relentless march towards more pictures originally, but it could be a laugh. I'm gonna start with a random 'mon from the generator...

I got Staryu:

Pokédix 250px-120Staryu
The five points are actually Weedles, caught by the shelled Pokémon as they tried to eat the shiny red fruit it carries. It doesn't use them for anything, it's just a dickhead.

I challenge someone to write a Pokédex entry for Magmar.
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Balladeer
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyWed 10 Aug 2016 - 22:57

Pokédix 250px-126Magmar

While the black bands around its ankles are fashion statements for mating purposes, the band around its neck can be unscrewed.  If so the Magmar's head will come with it, and it will bleed lava all over your feet.  You moron.

Serious talk:
 

The next person gets Dunsparce.  Put up a piccy as well, you know you want to.
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ZeroJones
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyThu 11 Aug 2016 - 0:25

Great thread idea, all involved! Applause

Dunsparce

Pokédix Dream-206

A Dunsparce's wings are vestigial, a reminder of its prehistoric ancestor: Doocommon. Many domesticated Dunsparces are mistaken for slippers and meet a grisly end.

The Random Pokémon Generator gives... Vullaby!
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JayMoyles
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyThu 11 Aug 2016 - 21:27

Pokédix 250px-629Vullaby

Vullaby starts its life as a docile, amicable Pokémon but grows steadily angrier during its life in response to horrific egg puns Trainers make about it.

Next up, Gurdurr!
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Drunkalilly
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyThu 11 Aug 2016 - 21:45

Pokédix 250px-533Gurdurr

Throbbing veins and a red tip mark out this distinct Pokémon, known for the solid length it brandishes. It thrusts attacks at enemies and I don't know why the lab assistants keep asking me to edit this entry.

Let's give the next player something fun: Mr Mime.
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Balladeer
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyThu 11 Aug 2016 - 22:01

Egg puns you say? Grin

Pokédix 250px-122Mr._Mime

It mimes soundproof glass cages around lost children. After three days, it returns to feast.

The RPG gives you: Yanma!
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ZeroJones
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyThu 11 Aug 2016 - 22:22

Pokédix 250px-193Yanma

Yanma have been known to change gender when splashed with water. The spikes on its tail serve no purpose whatsoever. The stripes on its wings grow wider during mating season to advertise its sexual prowess.

The next Pokémon is... Palpitoad! Grin
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyMon 5 Sep 2016 - 12:15

I find it tough to believe that none of y'all can think of a 'Dex entry for a Pokémon that has three giant balls on its head.  Anyway, BUMP

Pokédix 536

Why did you bother catching Palpitoad?  Seriously?  It's hideous.  Did you think it might get prettier once it evolves?  Good luck with that, trainer.

I give you Palkia.  Come on gents, I'm giving this one to you on a platter.  Be creative, it's fun!

Here's a picture of it, you don't even have to Google the damn thing.:
 
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NintenDUCK
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyMon 5 Sep 2016 - 16:30

Known for its huge feet, Palkia can run at tremendous speeds, even through thick snow. *lab assistants look away* It's head and shoulders look like a cock and balls, too.
Pokédix Palkia
Next: Whimiscott
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Drunkalilly
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyMon 5 Sep 2016 - 16:45

Sssh I did see Duck's:
 
Pokédix 250px-547Whimsicott
While initially appearing to be a cute, soft cloud, this Pokémon waits for young children to approach then opens its covering to reveal its wood.
AREA: Not within 100 metres of a park.


Spoiler:
 
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JayMoyles
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyMon 5 Sep 2016 - 22:34

Pokédix 250px-351Castform

Castform is renowned for transforming depending on the weather, but on a clear day, well... let's just say it brings all the boys to the yard.

Spoiler:
 
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyTue 6 Sep 2016 - 6:53

Pokédix 250px-367Huntail

Huntail was created in a laboratory, by splicing Gorebyss' DNA with hate from the extreme reaches of the Internet. It lives in the depths of the sea because no one will tolerate its homophobic 'banter' on land. Recently Huntail skeletons have been found in Texas.

You get...:
 
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Drunkalilly
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyTue 6 Sep 2016 - 11:00

Pokédix Latest?cb=20150106002200

Prowling the night, this rare and mysterious Pokémon can . . . umm . . . has a . . . umm . . . it's just a big cat, mate. Sorry.

Spoiler:
 
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyTue 6 Sep 2016 - 13:56

...yup, not really much to say about that one. Laughing Persian is pretty dull compared to a lot of later Pokémon.

'But Gen. 1 designs are the bes-' no shush no they're not shut up.
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Drunkalilly
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyTue 6 Sep 2016 - 15:00

Well, Hawlucha is the best Pokémon and he's really recent, so everyone can shut up.
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ZeroJones
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyTue 6 Sep 2016 - 17:42

Pokédix 250px-701Hawlucha

Although labelled as the 'Wrestling Pokémon' this is a misnomer: the natural habitat of the Hawlucha is the cricket pitch. The birds enjoy nothing more than sitting in the sun and clapping their local side to victory by clicking their claws together.

Next up...

Spoiler:
 
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyTue 6 Sep 2016 - 23:33

Pokédix 250px-366Clamperl
Fig.1

Clamperl
When sleeping, its outer shell is shut tight. This causes the internal temperature of the shell to rise dramatically. Upon awakening, Clamperl must blow cold air onto its 6 testicles (see Fig.1) to avoid the stuatus-damaging condition "Betty Swollocks".


Next up - I'm going there:
 
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Drunkalilly
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyWed 7 Sep 2016 - 0:38

Pokédix 250px-124Jynx

Often mistaken for a young child and unwittingly taken home from shopping centres by parents. Once a Jynx is in the house, it is difficult to make it leave. It sits in your cupboard and eats all your beans.

Spoiler:
 
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyWed 7 Sep 2016 - 8:07

ZeroJones wrote:
Although labelled as the 'Wrestling Pokémon' this is a misnomer: the natural habitat of the Hawlucha is the cricket pitch. The birds enjoy nothing more than sitting in the sun and clapping their local side to victory by clicking their claws together.

BEST POKÉMON EVER!!!!

Pokédix 364

Sealeo is characterised by extreme body image issues, stemming back to when Dewgong was made Prom Pokémon instead of it. Look at that stupid white floppy thing, wouldn't last a day in the arctic... it howls, as its therapist nods sagely.

Your next Pokémon is...

Spoiler:
 
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Drunkalilly
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyWed 7 Sep 2016 - 8:33

Pokédix Zygarde-complete

Zygarde, digivolve to... Zygarde 100% form!
A total edgelord, this Digimon hates his unfair dad, and uses his powerful laser beams to destroy enemies. Is he a hero or a villain? Only time will tell.
This is my original character, do not steal.

Spoiler:
 
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyWed 7 Sep 2016 - 8:53

Laughing I laughed.
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JayMoyles
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyWed 7 Sep 2016 - 19:37

Pokédix 250px-584Vanilluxe

No, look - I just wanted one scoop and a Flake. I'm not paying for a double cone, you should have listened to what I ordered. Oh piss off, I'm going to Tesco and buying a Magnum instead.

Spoiler:
 
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptySun 11 Sep 2016 - 8:17

Pokédix 250px-690Skrelp

Skrelp are the remnants left behind by societies of Dragalge. In a marine environment that provides no welfare benefits or health service, Skrelp spend their days alternating between hope, realisation that hope will come to nothing, and drug abuse. Some maintain a despairing belief in trickle-down economics.

It had to be coming sooner or later:
 
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Drunkalilly
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyMon 12 Sep 2016 - 12:58

Pokédix 250px-568Trubbish
Known in legend as the Filth of Man, Trubbish is born from sin. When the stinking, creeping underside of the human condition bubbles to the surface, slime pools on the skin and slakes off into the streets. It gathers, in our waste and achieves a sort of sentience, knowing only hate.

Spoiler:
 
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JayMoyles
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PostSubject: Re: Pokédix   Pokédix EmptyTue 13 Sep 2016 - 22:55

Pokédix Mamoswine

Glamoswine's blue colouration around its eyes isn't a skin condition, but make-up applied to make it look truly glamorous for Pokémon contests. Its favourite bands are Slade, T-Rex and Wizzard.

Spoiler:
 
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