Pokédix

I was going back through the Whose That Pokémon thread following its resurgence, laughing at our old pics, and came across this exchange:

JayMoyles wrote:

"Alternate Pokedex entries" would be a top thread idea.

Balladeer wrote:

It's your idea, Jay: care to do the honours? Could make it a game - suggest a Pokémon for the next person to do.

in response to this:

Spoiler:

It got lost in the relentless march towards more pictures originally, but it could be a laugh. I'm gonna start with a random 'mon from the generator...

I got Staryu:


The five points are actually Weedles, caught by the shelled Pokémon as they tried to eat the shiny red fruit it carries. It doesn't use them for anything, it's just a dickhead.

I challenge someone to write a Pokédex entry for Magmar.

While the black bands around its ankles are fashion statements for mating purposes, the band around its neck can be unscrewed.  If so the Magmar's head will come with it, and it will bleed lava all over your feet.  You moron.

Serious talk:

The next person gets Dunsparce.  Put up a piccy as well, you know you want to.

Great thread idea, all involved!

Dunsparce



A Dunsparce's wings are vestigial, a reminder of its prehistoric ancestor: Doocommon. Many domesticated Dunsparces are mistaken for slippers and meet a grisly end.

The Random Pokémon Generator gives... Vullaby!

Vullaby starts its life as a docile, amicable Pokémon but grows steadily angrier during its life in response to horrific egg puns Trainers make about it.

Next up, Gurdurr!

Throbbing veins and a red tip mark out this distinct Pokémon, known for the solid length it brandishes. It thrusts attacks at enemies and I don't know why the lab assistants keep asking me to edit this entry.

Let's give the next player something fun: Mr Mime.

Egg puns you say?



It mimes soundproof glass cages around lost children. After three days, it returns to feast.

The RPG gives you: Yanma!

Yanma have been known to change gender when splashed with water. The spikes on its tail serve no purpose whatsoever. The stripes on its wings grow wider during mating season to advertise its sexual prowess.

The next Pokémon is... Palpitoad!

I find it tough to believe that none of y'all can think of a 'Dex entry for a Pokémon that has three giant balls on its head.  Anyway, BUMP



Why did you bother catching Palpitoad?  Seriously?  It's hideous.  Did you think it might get prettier once it evolves?  Good luck with that, trainer.

I give you Palkia.  Come on gents, I'm giving this one to you on a platter.  Be creative, it's fun!

Here's a picture of it, you don't even have to Google the damn thing.:

Known for its huge feet, Palkia can run at tremendous speeds, even through thick snow. *lab assistants look away* It's head and shoulders look like a cock and balls, too.

Next: Whimiscott

Sssh I did see Duck's:

While initially appearing to be a cute, soft cloud, this Pokémon waits for young children to approach then opens its covering to reveal its wood.
AREA: Not within 100 metres of a park.

Spoiler:

Castform is renowned for transforming depending on the weather, but on a clear day, well... let's just say it brings all the boys to the yard.

Spoiler:

Huntail was created in a laboratory, by splicing Gorebyss' DNA with hate from the extreme reaches of the Internet. It lives in the depths of the sea because no one will tolerate its homophobic 'banter' on land. Recently Huntail skeletons have been found in Texas.

You get...:

...yup, not really much to say about that one. Persian is pretty dull compared to a lot of later Pokémon.

'But Gen. 1 designs are the bes-' no shush no they're not shut up.

Well, Hawlucha is the best Pokémon and he's really recent, so everyone can shut up.

Although labelled as the 'Wrestling Pokémon' this is a misnomer: the natural habitat of the Hawlucha is the cricket pitch. The birds enjoy nothing more than sitting in the sun and clapping their local side to victory by clicking their claws together.

Next up...

Spoiler:

Fig.1

Clamperl
When sleeping, its outer shell is shut tight. This causes the internal temperature of the shell to rise dramatically. Upon awakening, Clamperl must blow cold air onto its 6 testicles (see Fig.1) to avoid the stuatus-damaging condition "Betty Swollocks".

Next up - I'm going there:

ZeroJones wrote:

Although labelled as the 'Wrestling Pokémon' this is a misnomer: the natural habitat of the Hawlucha is the cricket pitch. The birds enjoy nothing more than sitting in the sun and clapping their local side to victory by clicking their claws together.

BEST POKÉMON EVER!!!!



Sealeo is characterised by extreme body image issues, stemming back to when Dewgong was made Prom Pokémon instead of it. Look at that stupid white floppy thing, wouldn't last a day in the arctic... it howls, as its therapist nods sagely.

Your next Pokémon is...

Spoiler:

Zygarde, digivolve to... Zygarde 100% form!
A total edgelord, this Digimon hates his unfair dad, and uses his powerful laser beams to destroy enemies. Is he a hero or a villain? Only time will tell.
This is my original character, do not steal.

Spoiler:

I laughed.

Glamoswine's blue colouration around its eyes isn't a skin condition, but make-up applied to make it look truly glamorous for Pokémon contests. Its favourite bands are Slade, T-Rex and Wizzard.

Spoiler: