Darunia's Leaf Green Nuzlocke Run
I appear in the world as an amorphous blob, a nobody with no defining characteristics. Quickly, I decide on my gender and name, and help an amnesiac professor through the daily trials of being a family guy. I ignore my mother and attempt to run away from home, when I'm suddenly accosted by a scary old man. He takes me to his lab, where he offers me a choice of three little creatures.
I check my identifying number, all the while trying to remind myself that I'm still unique, that I'm more than a number, that just because I look the same as all the other players doesn't mean that I am.
It ends with a six.
Welcome to the world, George the Charmander.
George makes short work of Gary's Squirtle, and I head on my way. My mind is filled with thoughts of adventure. That, and badges.
I fucking love badges.
After tactically avoiding any enemies for the first couple of grass patches, a Rattata attacks me to ruin the fun.
A Rattata with a death wish.
George quickly turns it into mince, and causes another widespread controversy. They still hadn't gotten over the Ponyta meat in the Miltank burgers.
A Pidgey appears soon after, and joins its fallen comrade in hell. It leaves its mark on the world of the living by teaching George how to be a better arsonist. Ember shall be a useful move.
I casually saunter into Viridian, knowing that I could burn the place to the ground on a whim. Eternally green paradise? If "eternal" means "for as long as Master Luke deems it appropriate", then yes. Yes indeed.
A child approaches and tells me how great I am for having Pokémon. I know that, mortal fool. Unfortunately, "Bow before me" is not a dialogue option. Being a silent protagonist, little is.
I replenish George's ass-kicking capabilities, continue, and find an old person lying on the ground. Maybe he's dead. That would be fun.
No such luck - he's just lying there and complaining about private property. I make a mental note to deliver a swift kick to his "private property" should I ever see the man again.
So caught up am I with thoughts of revenge and pouring the bastard's morning coffee into his smug face am I that I forget why I came here, but I wander into the Mart, and suddenly become an errand boy. Fabulous. Not only that, but the man behind the counter refuses to sell me anything until I've done the legwork for him. I decide never to buy anything from here in the future.
I jump down some ledges on my way back to Pallet Town because I'm a badass like that.
Oak takes his delivery, gives me some balls, and tells me to do his job for him. Needless to say, it's imperative that I steal a map from a little girl for this, so I make a point of doing so before I head back up to Viridian. I meet the old man, now standing, and with a sad lack of boiling liquid on his face. Evidently it missed, and instead found a home in his mouth. How unfortunate. Through what seems to be very lax security, a wild Weedle has made its way into the town. He captures it, and then gives me... a television? People are strange. I suppose I can forgive him for earlier. Hopefully this can sell for more than a kick in the balls is worth.
I leave Viridian at last for Route 2. It's time to boost my team's numbers. A Level 4 female Pidgey appears. Yes, that'll do nicely.
My heart almost stops when George lands a critical hit, but it's just enough to get the wildling low enough on HP that it should be easy to capture.
One. Two. Three. Click.
Esmerelda joins the party.
I'm almost ready to continue on my quest, but first, Route 22 to the west calls me. I sing for a Pokémon to approach, and hope for a strong one.
I find myself facing a Level 2 Rattata. Lovely. Nonetheless, it's all I can get for now, so Theodore joins my motley crew. Two steps later and a Mankey appears. My resentment for Theodore grows inside me. I don't get long to let this feeling grow, however. Gary suddenly appears, with two level 9 Pokémon in tow. This means that they're both a higher level than any of mine.
This is exactly the sort of situation I told myself I'd never let myself get into during this run.
A chance critical-hitting Ember saves the day for me, and Gary's Pidgey goes down in two turns. George is brought up to level 9 himself. Maybe I have a chance now. Squirtle is coming up. Maybe I can bring its HP down a bit with Esmerelda before I have to face it with George. I'm given two turns in which to do so - in the first, Gary opts for a Tail Whip, and in the second, a Tackle shaves off exactly half of Esmerelda's HP. I stop to think. If I bring out Theodore now... Maybe, just maybe, when I'm forced to use George, I'll have a fighting chance, because Theodore will faint, and when I bring George out, Gary won't get an extra turn in which to attack him.
It's not a difficult decision. I send out Theodore, with little hope that he'll survive the turn.
With a single Tackle, all three of the HP he had left after his capture are removed. I have had my first death.
It's George time.
The two are now rather evenly matched - either Gary's Squirtle hasn't yet learnt a Water-type move, or he's just being stupid. Either way, the rest of the battle amounts to our starters playing a game of "who can survive the greater number of Normal-type attacks". With the earlier help of Esmerelda, George wins out, and I'm left standing there, covered in Rattata blood and shame.
He didn't need to die. Of course, had I just sent out George immediately, it would have worked out, because the Squirtle wasn't using any Water-type moves. But I didn't know that. I couldn't predict the future.
So Theodore had to die.
Perhaps I misjudged him. I was bitter, at first, because he could have been something better. But in the end, he made a sacrifice. A noble, valiant sacrifice, and yet a needless one. And here I am, swarmed with guilt and sorrow, thinking of all the things that could have been.
And so now I fight. I fight on. For all those Pokémon like Theodore. All those good-natured little creatures, who try their best, and, in their own little ways, prove invaluable - the side characters, the unimportant-seeming, misjudged little wonders who make our world.
Goodbye, my friend. I barely knew you, but I shall not forget you.NEXT TIME: How to prepare for revenge.
*Or not. This is totally unplanned, so there may not be any more at all, but I'm having fun so far.