Let's Talk Some Bollocks About: The Nintendo 3DS & Super Street Fighter IV: 3D Edition

Didn't want to give a more in depth analysis yet

Crumpy Andy wrote:

You will be hearing from my lawyers.

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And here they are:

Ooft, burn!

The kind of burn that would make you gasp in pain, I suspect.

Ooh, I don't think I mentioned it in my big post, but Asstown is a fun Animal Crossing podcast and it just resurfaced after mysteriously disappearing for six months.

Where are we?

Were on the GNamer forum.

Why are we on that?

I don't know Pit? Someone must have summoned us here.

You two idiots, masofdas summoned us all here to talk about my hit 3DS game.

You mean my game as I'm the playable character.

Whatever jerks.

Maybe we should let the forum talk about the game shall we?

Yes you're right Lady Palutena, Time to talk about

Weak first post, quality game

Graphics SICK
control FINE
Bantz ADEQUATE

I liked it boys. I don't remember much but I enjoyed shooting the monsters and that o think

ALRIGHT

Kid Icarus - Banger

First person to moan about the controls gets a punch when I next see them.

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It was quite distinctive with its chunky visuals, and I thought the pace was good and the attack formations were well designed. But the control was SHITE. That's the main thing I remember.

EDIT: Not accepting anybody defending the controls. You're talking pish.

Sounds like Cappa is heading to punchy punchy town...

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KIU was my favourite 3DS game for a long time but I've not played it for 7 years that I can't remember a huge amount about it.

I did collect the cards as well, which were a decent use of the 3DS AR ability.

Ahhh Kid Icarus Uprising I wanted to like you more than I did but the the controls didn't translate well when you got to the on foot sections, the fact you needed a stand to try and play comfortably says it all for me. I'd like to give this a second chance but I'd only do that if it got the HD treatment on Switch & perhaps maybe even give it some Splatoon-esque motion controls so it doesn't lose the fine aiming that the stylus gave you.

*boards bus to punchy punchy town*

Bring it on!

If Mas hadn't done this I was going to.  In fact, since Mas did something non-traditional for his big post, I'm still going to.  Let's go talk KIU.

'Sorry to keep you waiting!'  When Pit flew onto our monitors at E3 2010, I hadn't been kept waiting.  I'd never played a Kid Icarus game, and I only knew who Pit was because of Smash Bros. Brawl.  However, the trailer immediately got me interested.  The gameplay, at least in the air, looked like the return of Lylat Wars without Fox's associated baggage.  The art style was beautiful, the music triumphant.  The dialogue felt... a bit cheesy, but whatever.  I was hyped.

Then I got it in my hands, and... well it's a little more complicated than that, isn't it?

Any discussion about KIU starts off with the controls, which ignores the first thing that you see: the menus.  It's these that first tell you that it's a Sakurai game.  They're stuffed with... er, stuff.  From weapons-crafting to an online mode that everyone forgot existed to... whatever the feck Offering is.  It reminds me of Smash or Meteos (any excuse, ladies and gents, any excuse), in that it feels crammed with good ideas, nicely presented.  There was also some good use of the 3DS features, from the AR cards to the coin-egg-toss-trophies-thing.  It's where the discussion should actually start, because it's where the player starts, and it only served to further my hype.

Then when you start actually playing, you get the Fiend's Cauldron, which is also an excellent idea.  You can plough through the levels on easy if you just want to enjoy the story, or you can get greater rewards by increasing the difficulty.  Smash Bros. would later borrow this idea, because it is A Very Good One.

You do then have to get onto the controls though don't you?  And I think they're chuffing ace.

...in the air.  I seriously think it's some of the best flying gameplay I've played, not that I have much competition; but it beats the later Star Fox Zero, and even Lylat Wars, into a cocked cauldron.  I found the stylus-stick combination natural and intuitive, and a lot easier to aim with to boot.

On the ground... well there's no getting around that, they're bobbins.  (All aboard the train to Punchsylvania.)  You never really get used to the 'tracking globe' thing, and I struggled to aim with the ease that I did in the air.  So they're bad... but they're not as unconquerable as some would make out, and to reduce the gameplay to the controls alone ignores so many things that KIU does well in its on-foot gameplay.

There's the weapons, for one.  The nine types are completely different and utterly change how you play.  The claws, for example, reward quick play and getting in close, while also making you feel like Vega; the club is the slow powerful bruiser of the pack and can get stuffed quite frankly; the staff, meanwhile, gets more powerful the further away you are from your enemy.

These could almost be their own characters: Pikachu, Donkey Kong, Samus.  It's not hard to see how the multiplayer deathmatches could have worked quite well had the controls not been (ahem) SHITE.

The rest of the one-player game is chock-full of set-pieces, hidden items, challenging battles, interesting level and enemy design, and big ol' bosses.  Remember the bit where you're suddenly riding a chariot?  Or piloting the 'Cherubot'?  (I forgot that bit until just now.)  Or... er, controlling a dog?  It's got all of the characteristics of a great one-player adventure-shooter thingummy, and anybody who didn't at least try to see past the controls for that is only hurting themselves.

The best thing about the game, though, is the dialogue.  If that's what Mas was trying to get across up there, then fair play to him: he's right.

Pit, Palutena, Viridi et al.'s chatter on the lower screen is frequently funny, often self-aware, and never pretentious.  It kept me grinning through even the grimmest of levels.  What's more, when it's not referencing the old games for the benefit of muggins 'ere who hasn't played them, it raises side-characters into cult favourites (and distracts attention from an all-over-the-place plot that forgets villains as soon as it introduces them).  

Pittoo looks like a dark tryhard version of Pit, but the game knows this and riffs on it.  Hades (spoilers I guess?) is one of the best Big Bads in the Nintendo canon due entirely to his affably evil #bantz with the rest of the cast.  And if you don't know what 'HAMAZING' references, for God's sake make an effort and bear with the controls until you do.

It's all wrapped up in some superlative presentation.  The art style means that an early 3DS game still looks good today, despite being noticeably blocky.  The soundtrack, meanwhile, needs no such caveats.  It's got plenty of utter belters.  It occasionally gets a bit forgettable in some of the on-foot regions, but that's the worst you can say about it.

All in all, KIU is only a slightly iffy final set-piece and those controls away from being one of my all-time favourites.  Those controls throw a significant spanner in the works than mean in practice it's nowhere near those giddy heights, but they shouldn't overshadow the rest of a tremendous game.  What's more, as Jas suggests, that makes it a perfect candidate for a dual-analogue re-release or sequel.  

Unfortunately there's no sign that Sakurai et al. want to do anything like that.  They seem happy to let KIU languish where it is, a great but flawed 3DS game that seems destined for curio status.  Here's hoping I'm wrong, or I really will expect an apology for being kept waiting.

It's all irrelevant I tells ya. I find it uncomfortable to hold my OG 3DS as is; as soon as they announced you'd need a stand to play it properly, I was out. I know the story is a lot of fun, and I've avoided watching too much as I really hope that the game arrives in some other form in the future. But I ain't doing it. I will see you all in Punchytown.

If ever a 3DS game needed a Switch re-release it's this, controls were shite and you all know it, the game itself was awesome, really enjoyed what I played of it, wasn't worth the RSI though.

The punchy bus is comin' and everybody's jumpin'
New York through San Fransisco
An interstate free disco,
The wheels of steel are turnin' and traffic lights are burnin'
So if you like to party,
Get on and move your body

...out of the way of Andy's fists 🎵

Curious to know whether the likes of Cappa and Smurf found the aerial controls shite as well, or whether it was just the grounded ones. Also I never needed a stand.

They were all right. Didn't blow my cock off or anything.

This is one that I'd have loved to have played considering the snappy dialogue and whatnot coupled with a fun looking on-rails shooter, but I've heard it's utterly miserable to play for lefties without investing in a bit of plastic to act as a second stick or whatever peripheral that was. So, this isn't one for me, chief.

It was definitely worth the cost of the second stick.

For those who did play it, do any moments really stand out to you?  Mine was the second bit with Magnus (I think the second?  After the Chaos Kin does its thing anyway), the bit where Pyrrhon does his thing, the aforementioned 'HAMAZING' line, and all of Hades.  But especially <3.

Also: **** Ornes.

Um... I don't remember anything. Maybe there were boss fights against really big people?

I remember bugger all about it too, other than the stuff I've already said. It's odd. I've had Uprising since it launched seven years ago, but my main memory is when I got printed in Nintendo Gamer for plonking a banana on the free stand.

Can we move on to the next game so my heart doesn&rsquo;t have to hurt any more

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Agreed, this is painful. If people don't even remember the bit with the girl and the dog and Magnus then there's no hope for them. The dog had its own theme, for crying out loud!

I kept Uprising in the hope it would one day grab my attention again. I remember being excited to try it on my New 3DS XL when that came out in 2015ish. Alas, to my disappointment, Kid Icarus didn't take advantage of the extra nipple stick, and it played with the same sad wanker controls as before. 😟

I do find this reaction to be odd to me. I really don&rsquo;t like on rails shooters. Star Fox and Sin & Punishment are some of the worst times I&rsquo;ve had on a Nintendo console, but this was a special game to me. There&rsquo;s few 3DS games that I felt I had to play at home in a decent session because I was so engrossed.

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