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 The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG

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NintenDUCK
Shiny Shuckle
NintenDUCK

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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyThu 10 Oct 2013 - 18:04

>PEE A LITTLE.
>TAKE DEEP BREATH OF VODKA.
>USE CASTLE.
>EQUIP BIG STICK
>HOPE ON CASTLE'S BACK AND HAVE HIM RUSH THE REDEAD WHILE I BRANDISH MY BIG STICK.

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beemoh
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyThu 10 Oct 2013 - 19:21

>REQUEST INFORMATION AS TO WHO OR WHAT GIACOMETTI IS
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Balladeer
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyThu 10 Oct 2013 - 19:45

Most of the update is going to come tomorrow in work, when I don't have Pokémon in front of me being all distracting; but here are some examples of his work.
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JayMoyles
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyThu 10 Oct 2013 - 21:23

>PEER ROUND AT STATUE... LOOKS FAMILIAR...

The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 Slender_2

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Balladeer
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Balladeer

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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyFri 11 Oct 2013 - 12:06

Papers on desk:
 



Seymour contributes slightly to the fluid surrounding the path.  He takes a deep breath: his status is now TIPSY, adding a 75% accuracy modifier to his attacks.  Not to mention that the choking fog is adding a 40% modifier.  He already has the BIG STICK equipped, so he only takes a short time to CASTLE, expending 1 MP.  Now, shadowy figure that may or may not be a Re-Dead, you're about to enter a whole world of hurt, courtesy of...

Castle Survival Chance:
 

The summoned MATTHEW CASTLE is instantly slain.  

Never to be daunted, the TIPSY Seymour strikes with his BIG STICK...

Attack Connect Chance:
 

...delivering a fearsome beatdown to the ALCOFOG.  Hah!  How d'you like that, fog!?  

The ALCOFOG is unfazed.  The shadowy figure... well, you can't even see its face, but given that you just struck a point to its right, you'd say it's not that likely to be fazed either.

The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 Shadow_figure_440
??/?? LP

DungeonMaster Tips:
 
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JayMoyles
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyFri 11 Oct 2013 - 14:13

>LAUGH DERISIVELY AT GOTH'S LOVE LETTER TO BETTY
>PUSH BETTY OFF TRAPDOOR
>WALK BACK OVER TO DESK AND PRESS SWITCH IN DRAWER
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Treesmurf
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyFri 11 Oct 2013 - 15:49

>ENTERS FRAY
>IS INTRIGUED BY MASOFDAS' SALES PITCH
>ATTEMPTS TO BARTER BY OFFERING 50P
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masofdas
Disciple of Aonuma
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyFri 11 Oct 2013 - 16:33

Whatcha buying stranger, I will accept 50p.
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beemoh
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyFri 11 Oct 2013 - 18:56

>REMEMBER ALCOHOL IS FLAMMABLE
>FLING TORCH INTO FOG
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ZeroJones
I'M SO LONELY
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptySat 12 Oct 2013 - 9:29

>STAND BACK FROM ALCOHOL
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Balladeer
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptySat 12 Oct 2013 - 9:34

I'll update this later - for now, BARTER GAME START!

(Also, Seymour may want to get his perfectly toned backside out of the alcohol-filled room someone's just chucked a torch into.)
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JayMoyles
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptySat 12 Oct 2013 - 12:53

>PILFER POKEMON IN A BID TO SPEED UP THE DISEMBODIED VOICE
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Balladeer
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Balladeer

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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptySat 12 Oct 2013 - 20:14

The DISEMBODIED VOICE spends a while angrily chasing one of his players around the town centre.  It's difficult to chase someone, when you have no hands to grab them with.  However, he'll let you off this once, considering your predicament.  What predicament, you ask?  Ah...



Jay sneers.  Pfft.  Some old coot fell in love with a STATUE that he made.  What a numpty.  An incestuous numpty.  He finds the switch no problem, top drawer.  Then he shoves BETTY off the TRAPDOOR, goes back to the desk and presses the switch.  

Sure enough, the TRAPDOOR opens - and look, there's the main room.   Diamond of chests, torn NOEL EDMONDS poster, everything.  But the light hits a sensor on the ground, and a pillar rises up from the floor.  It's got a mirror on it, and a handle, meaning that by turning it you can reflect light into every corner of the room including down the passageways.  Although that puzzle's already been solved by people messing about with torches.  Never mind, eh.

No use hanging around here, then.  Jay sets off back down the staircase, but hears a groan.  With a feeling of sickening inevitability, Jay turns around...

"BETTY" WANTS TO BATTLE!

The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 L
120/120 LP

Yeah.  Good luck fighting that one normally.  That'll teach you to steal my games.



Masofdas makes his way out of Username's Inventory, without taking anything from there (wasted opportunity du jour).  He meets the newly arrived Desmond, and they engage in BARTER BATTLE!  Using his mercantile skills that I just now made up, Masofdas can sell a variety of interesting items, although he can't use them himself without buying them back from a customer.  

EXAMPLE MARKET PRICES:
POTION: £2.00
RUSTY GLAIVE: £6.00
BIG BONBON: £0.50

DM notes:
 



Username rushes down the southwest passage, dodges Seymour's TORCH which is guttering on the floor, and lobs his own TORCH into the alcohol free room.  Now, because I'm a nice DM I am going to assume that Seymour has already sensibly hauled his tipsy arse from the SHADOWY FIGURE, meaning that he's not in the room when...

The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 Boom-2

(Desmond looks pointedly in the other direction when he hears this, because that's the sort of person he is.)

The door falls off its hinges, letting the light from within into the southwest passage (no need for torches, therefore).  There is still a low, anguished groaning coming from within.  Dare you re-enter?

DM notes:
 
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JayMoyles
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptySat 12 Oct 2013 - 20:44

>AW FUCK NO
>USE "ANGST" AS DISTRACTION
>RUN
>REQUESTING HELP FROM FRIENDLY FORUMITES
>OFFER HELP WITH POSSIBLE REDEAD IN EXCHANGE FOR HELPING TO MURDER THIS ELDRITCH HORROR
>IT WILL BE ALL OUR PROBLEM SOON ENOUGH ANYWAY
>*SOB*


Last edited by JayMoyles on Sat 12 Oct 2013 - 21:51; edited 1 time in total
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beemoh
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptySat 12 Oct 2013 - 21:28

Balladeer wrote:
"BETTY" WANTS TO BATTLE!

The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 L
120/120 LP

Yeah.  Good luck fighting that one normally.
>USE IN-APP PURCHASES TO BUY MASSIVE HAMMER AND CHISEL
>GO TO TOWN WITH HAMMER AND CHISEL
>RETURN TO DUNGEON AND ATTACK BETTY WITH THE TOOLS
>BY WHICH I MEAN THE HAMMER AND CHISEL AND NOT MY FELLOW DUNGEONEERS
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ZeroJones
I'M SO LONELY
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptySun 13 Oct 2013 - 10:15

>RUN FROM BETTY
>AS AIR ONCE SANG, "RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN"
>THERE WERE A FEW MORE RUNS IN THE SONG
>I CAN'T REMEMBER HOW MANY BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE THAN AUSTRALIA MANAGED IN THE ASHES
>BAZINGA


Last edited by ZeroJones on Sun 13 Oct 2013 - 17:41; edited 1 time in total
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NintenDUCK
Shiny Shuckle
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptySun 13 Oct 2013 - 16:17

>THANK DISEMBODIED VOICE FOR FORCIBLY REMOVING ME FROM BLAST ZONE
>STAGGERS OUT OF SOUTHWEST PASSAGE
>SEE BETTY
>USE PEEKACHOO ON BETTY
>GET CONFUSED AND CHASE BALLYZERO AS HE RUNS AWAY
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Treesmurf
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptySun 13 Oct 2013 - 23:47

>IS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED HOW EASY THE POTION WAS TO OBTAIN FOR 50P
>THANKS MASOFDAS
>DECIDES TO EXPLORE THE RECENTLY EXPLODED SOUTHWEST PASSAGE
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Balladeer
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyMon 14 Oct 2013 - 9:18

Whoa there!  I think Mas needs to have a say in this.  If he doesn't post all day, it's all yours.  If he does, you're relying on your Agreeability score as to whether you can convince him...

Updates going up slowly.



Jay casts Angst, costing him 1 MP.  Betty's not exactly a fast mover anyway: she totters a bit on those legs, and she seems keen to stay out of the light.  As she's held up with Neku moaning about how he has SO MANY FEELS, Jay dashes downstairs, screaming his lungs out and begging for help.  

Desmond and Ballyzero hear his cries, and henceforth run away (well, Ballyzero runs: Desmond strolls nonchalantly) towards the slightly lit south-western passage.  They pass the emerging Seymour, staggering from a mixture of alcohol and broken eardrums.  He joins Jay, Masofdas, Username, and the insubstantial shade of El Andros in the main room.  They wait there, Jay cowering slightly, Seymour swaying slightly, Username grizzling slightly.

A bloody pair of purple headphones fall through the trapdoor above.  Heavy, uneven metal footsteps are coming down the stairs.

DM notes:
 
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JayMoyles
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyMon 14 Oct 2013 - 10:11

>UM
>WAIT TILL BETTY REARS HER UGLY YET MURDEROUS HEAD AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS
>TURN MIRROR COLUMN TOWARDS THE NORTHERN STAIRWELL
>COWER BY SOUTH-WESTERN PASSAGE IN CASE THIS PLAN GOES TITS UP
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Balladeer
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Balladeer

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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyMon 14 Oct 2013 - 11:35

BETTY finally clunks into view, her empty eyes sizing up the party.  She has blood and fragments of purple cloth on her "hands".

Username tries to purchase a hammer and chisel to attack her, but because of TJRGNTITARPG's incredible popularity, the online section of the app. has crashed.  PLEASE TELL TJRGNTITARPG TECH SUPPORT ABOUT THIS PROBLEM!  WE HAVE PREPARED A FORM YOU CAN SEND WHICH WILL DO ABSOLUTE NOTHING, BUT MIGHT ANNOY ONE OF OUR MONKEYS IN TECH SUPPORT NO END.  GO ON, SEND IT, IT'LL BE HILARIOUS.  WE ONLY PAY THEM PEANUTS ANYWAY.  SEND FORM Y/N?

Seymour casts PEEKACHOO at the cost of 2MP, increasing his critical hit percentage and earning him 3 EXP.  Then he flees in the general direction of Ballyzero, but not before BETTY lashes out, doing 6HP of damage!  It's snapped him out of his tipsiness, at least.

"BETTY"
TYPE: Metallic/???
WEAKNESSES: Being dropped from large heights


Jay curses his decision to move BETTY off the TRAP DOOR before opening it. He gets behind the light pillar thing and begins to turn.

The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 L
120/120 LP
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JayMoyles
Din's Power
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyMon 14 Oct 2013 - 16:20

>DIRECT BEAM OF LIGHT TOWARDS BETTY
>PRAY THAT ITS AVERSION TO LIGHT UPSTAIRS EQUALS MASSIVE DAMAGE WHEN HIT WITH BEAM OF LIGHT
>FAILING THAT, PREPARE TO KEK PANTS
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NintenDUCK
Shiny Shuckle
NintenDUCK

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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyMon 14 Oct 2013 - 18:28

>HIDE BEHIND REST OF TEAM
>OFFER TO PURCHASE THREE POTIONS FOR £5.00
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beemoh
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyMon 14 Oct 2013 - 18:30

>ATTEMPT TO SEDUCE BETTY
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JayMoyles
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PostSubject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG   The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG - Page 3 EmptyMon 14 Oct 2013 - 18:34

beemoh wrote:
>ATTEMPT TO SEDUCE BETTY
>TALK TO PARTY:THIS IS OUR BEST SHOT LADS
LET'S GO WITH THIS
I'M STILL GONNA DIRECT THIS BEAM THOUGH
JUST IN CASE
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