GAMING NEWS Thread 1

They're never going to drop the 3DS entirely because it is making a fair bit of cash. But they might use mobile games to line their pockets a little extra.

I've tried playing platformers on my ipad on numerous occasions. My thoughts?    Sliding my fingers to go left & right is awful. In my opinion of course.

Fancy Fancy wrote:

I've tried playing platformers on my ipad on numerous occasions. My thoughts?    Sliding my fingers to go left & right is awful. In my opinion of course.

Platformers on touchscreens need to crash and die. Can't beat digital/analogue controls for precision.

Nintendo just needs to continue what it's doing with its handheld strategy. 3DS has already grossly exceeded early expectations.

Fancy Fancy wrote:

I've tried playing platformers on my ipad on numerous occasions. My thoughts?    Sliding my fingers to go left & right is awful. In my opinion of course.

Your opinion is correct. Officially.

Some people are now suggesting Nintendo are going to release games for PS4...
Sigh... Its going to be a long two weeks full of half baked analysis. My friend has even put off buying a 2DS for now because he believes that "Zelda's gonna be on Vita"....

You still go on CVG on occasion, Axis: you should know that that's nothing new!  

That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard Nintendo games on the VITA, please tell me you told him that the 3DS destroys the VITA everywhere and Nintendo still have Billions in the bank.

Reading about the rumored next handheld from Nintendo and seeing how Nintendo handhelds sell and consoles not so much now. What if the next handheld was fairly powerful (VITA speced or higher) and could plug into your TV like a ouya with wireless stick or something to play on your TV or even something like a VITA TV bundled in.

Nintendo would only have one system to develop for and support, it would be something different compared to the other two systems as I don't think Nintendo making something same speced as the PS4 & Xbox One is really going to help, so needs something to make it standout.

Also since the financial report Nintendo stocks have lost $1.2 billion in value.

Iwata restates that Mario isn't heading to smartphones.

The spread of smart devices does not spell the end of game consoles. It’s not that simple,” President Satoru Iwata said at a news conference Friday. The key is to figure out a way to use smartphones to make people aware of Nintendo’s games, and encourage them to try out the console version of the games, Mr. Iwata said.

“It doesn’t mean that we should put Mario on smartphones,” he said.

In the meantime, it is worth noting that Nintendo is beefing up its research and development budget, and that Mr. Iwata promises to surprise game players in the future. While there are plenty of unknowns, Nintendo isn’t saying game over to consoles just yet.

http://blogs.wsj.com/japanrealtime/2014/01/20/nintendos-woes-dont-mean-game-over-for-its-consoles/
http://www.ign.com/articles/2014/01/20/nintendo-has-no-plans-for-mario-on-smartphones

Prediction that 99% of Analysts will ignore this quote.

Maybe demos. of 3DS games on iOS then?  Or, as Jaster suggested above, new IP?  Which wouldn't be counted by the critics, natch.

On a completely different and much less important but utterly ridiculous (gasps for breath) note, here is another example of gaming copyright law being pants-on-head idiotic.

So, errm. Keza McDonald just posted the top 10 porn searches based on console browser.
I won't directly link to the chart here for obvious reasons, (only words; no images) but Nintendo users really, really like Hentai.   

https://twitter.com/kezamacdonald/status/425312271628529664

Delete if inappropriate.

I'm tempted to delete for linking to Twitter.  That aside, I'm fine with it because it's just words, and words that most of us have probably come across (  ). I'll check with Stu, but I'm sure he'll be okay with it as well.

Anyway, not that any of us GNamer forumites have ever shown any inclinations towards provocative anime! No sir.

Can you explain to me Mr Balladeer what 'Milford' means? (thank you auto correct) 

Rebrand the console as the Nintendo Hentai Lesbian Teen U, and release games such as F-Zero MILF, Ebony Big Tits Vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Anal Mario Kart 8 and Super Mario HD Big Dick World. Problems sorted.

Balladeer wrote:

Anyway, not that any of us GNamer forumites have ever shown any inclinations towards provocative anime!  No sir.

That boxart! Lewd.

Fancy Fancy wrote:

Can you explain to me Mr Balladeer what 'Milford' means? (thank you auto correct) 

I think it's a place in Essex.

The Cappuccino Kid wrote:

Super Mario HD Big Dick World

I hear you're doing the artwork for that one.  

At the moment, it might be a good idea for Nintendo to go handheld-only. There will always be a place for them in that arena, whereas I fear the home console market has gone in the opposite direction.

That search explains a lot more mature audience from I've played online on Sony system and they like MILF's and there's loads of kids on Xbox live & they like teens.

masofdas wrote:

That search explains a lot more mature audience from I've played online on Sony system and they like MILF's and there's loads of kids on Xbox live & they like teens.

masofdas: Sex expert extraordinaire.

Right if you were living in the land of the free you might be playing these

Best selling games of 2013
•1) Grand Theft Auto V
•2) Call of Duty: Ghosts
•3) Madden NFL 25
•4) Battlefield 4
•5) Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
•6) NBA 2K14
•7) Call of Duty: Black Ops II
• Just Dance 2014
•9) Minecraft Xbox 360 edition
•10) Disney Infinity

Zavvi has cut the price of the Xbox One to £409.99, I did predict a price drop but as it's not an official one not counting it towards my 2014 predictions.

Resogun has DLC in development which I can't wait to play.

This is the current UK Chart

•01. FIFA 14
•02. Call of Duty: Ghosts
•03. Battlefield 4
•04. Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag
•05. Lego Marvel Super Heroes
•06. Killzone Shadow Fall
•07. Need for Speed Rivals
•08. Minecraft Xbox 360 Edition
•09. Grand Theft Auto 5
•10. Aliens: Colonial Marines

Not as in depth this week but here's the top 10 for down under members

All Platforms
1. Call Of Duty: Ghosts
2. Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
3. Battlefield 4
4. Grand Theft Auto V
5. FIFA 14
6. LEGO Marvel Super Heroes
7. Need For Speed: Rivals
8. NBA 2K14
9. Gran Turismo 6
10. Minecraft Xbox 360 Edition

masofdas wrote:

•7) Call of Duty: Black Ops II
• Just Dance 2014
•9) Minecraft Xbox 360 edition
•10) Disney Infinity

Please don't change the just dance bit

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/gaming/news/a545471/league-of-legends-updates-blocked-by-uk-porn-filters.html

So those Porn Filters David Cameron wants us to have that block everything except porn? Now they're blocking update patches for League of Legends, as the filenames are things like VarusExpirationTimer.luaobj

Anyone surprised that this is happening? Let's have a show of hands.

...

Not many hands going up, there. In fact, none at all- so it looks like everyone knew this was going to happen. Either that, or your hands are busy doing something else.

The going suggestion is to contact your ISP to lose the filters, or actively cir***vent them by having your friend rename them and email them to you.

Cofagrigus Syndrome all over again.  

Balladeer wrote:

Cofagrigus Syndrome all over again.  

I believe it's officially referred to as "The Scunthorpe Problem", generally by attendees of Weightwatchers.

beemoh wrote:

Balladeer wrote:

Cofagrigus Syndrome all over again.  

I believe it's officially referred to as "The S****horpe Problem", generally by attendees of Weightwatchers.

This post has been officially edited by the Conservative Party. Glory to Big Brother.