Things That Really !&$%2 You Off

Not for the people walking past you. Of course, if you're at a house party and you're all smoking then it's your prerogative. You can't tell people off for it either way, though!

And I manually reset the threads now, which works fine until Masofdas decides to steal all the OPs...

What did I do and what reset what now.

Well like I say I only smoke on nights out with others, so it's all in smoking areas and that.

The finale of 24 wound me up a bit. They were billing it as the big thrilling conclusion but it was just like an ordinary season finale. In fact, they've ended other sessions the exact same way.

Spoiler:

THAT MY FRIEND GOT THE GIRL WHO HE WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN KNOWN IF NOT FOR ME!!

My hair, haven't had it cut for three months (I think, might be a little less or longer), and it's getting on my nerves! My ears need some ventilation. Tomorrow is going to be so nice, free of the hair.

Gogoata wrote:

THAT MY FRIEND GOT THE GIRL WHO HE WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN KNOWN IF NOT FOR ME!!

Come to the romantic mishaps thread dear Goat, we've plenty of beer and tears there.

What I call "shampoo science". The ones with the "seven signs of ageing", and you go "Weren't there five signs of ageing last year?" I bring this up because there's one out there that talks about the ten signs of youthful skin.  Within the decade I fully expect there to be three hundred and thirty one signs of youthful-but-not-too-youthful eyeballs.

On that note... TV adverts. Most of them are written by people who don't know how a joke works. Or a conversation between people, either.

Recent offenders:

• The fabric softener advert where the punchline is "not as soft as her" (shows how effective it is - I don't know the name of the company in question). The conversation's so horrible I have to actually leave the room if this advert is on.
  
• "When you're watching the game, no-one wants injury time" (footage of someone being injured). Well actually, if you're 1-0 down but are heavily pressing the other team, and there's a distinct possibility that their defence will crumble under the constant pressure of your attackers, and the 4th official shows a "5" on the board, meaning you've still got time to get a goal, and therefore a draw, with 1 more point that could be the difference between staying up or being relegated; in that situation, injury time is something you definitely want. It could be, of course, that the person writing the script for this advert didn't completely know what injury time was; however, marketing people, as they are... no-one ever considered reading the script, checking that the words that will appear on national television make some sense, and don't sound nonsensical, you know... one person, just maybe, during the lengthy process of creating this 30-second television programme, and HERE IT IS - IT'S ON THE TV, IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER, BUT NO-ONE - NO-ONE ANYWHERE - HAS STOPPED THEM AND SAID "WHAT YOU WAID DOESN'T MAKE SENSE". HONESTLY, IF WE WERE ALL NUKED TOMORROW, THIS WOULD BE FOR THE BEST. Again, I can't remember what the actual product is.
  

The the real estate people have now told us that we have about a month and a half to find a new place to live as the owners want to move back in...

Which is BRILLIANT timing.. Considering that we are all a bunch of poor people, one can't really do anything for 6 weeks and I'll be away on moving day so we are all kinda worried

Being awake in the day time. I was fairly comfortable with my previous sleeping schedule of going to bed at nine in the morning and waking up around six or seven in the evening, alas my body decided to not wake up until midnight last night so now I have to be awake during the day, which I've never liked. Damn winter cold and its effect on the body making it refuse to wake up in the evening, I can't believe I'm saying this but the sooner summer starts again the better.

Athrun888 wrote:

I can't believe I'm saying this but the sooner summer starts again the better.  

Now you take that back!! The longer summer starts the better.

Jimbob wrote:

On that note... TV adverts. Most of them are written by people who don't know how a joke works. Or a conversation between people, either.

 mate. When I sober up one hand a great deal to say about this. Some sheets are just yet, year wall.my personal most hated thing is when the whole "joke"# it's that occasionally children act like children. There's one that's for furniture out something and at the end the little girl is starting her mum's shoes or something and the whole family is starting and its just an excuse to l people with kids to feel smug, like they don't do that enough, and then feel their heads Ali far you they'll own stars than ezme to buy the product. Cunts.

Drunkalilly wrote:

and then feel their heads Ali far you they'll own stars than ezme to buy the product. Cunts.

Ah, the "Drunka's having a stroke" end of post. A classic.

Drunkalilly wrote:

Jimbob wrote:

On that note... TV adverts. Most of them are written by people who don't know how a joke works. Or a conversation between people, either.

 mate. When I sober up one hand a great deal to say about this. Some sheets are just yet, year wall.my personal most hated thing is when the whole "joke"# it's that occasionally children act like children. There's one that's for furniture out something and at the end the little girl is starting her mum's shoes or something and the whole family is starting and its just an excuse to l people with kids to feel smug, like they don't do that enough, and then feel their heads Ali far you they'll own stars than ezme to buy the product. Cunts.

I'm... glad you... agree?
I'll come back later

Drunkalilly wrote:

Jimbob wrote:

On that note... TV adverts. Most of them are written by people who don't know how a joke works. Or a conversation between people, either.

 mate. When I sober up one hand a great deal to say about this. Some sheets are just yet, year wall.my personal most hated thing is when the whole "joke"# it's that occasionally children act like children. There's one that's for furniture out something and at the end the little girl is starting her mum's shoes or something and the whole family is starting and its just an excuse to l people with kids to feel smug, like they don't do that enough, and then feel their heads Ali far you they'll own stars than ezme to buy the product. Cunts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbYZZHGkDio

And yet again the absolute shit postal service fucks up.  Pay seven dollars for express mail, wait seven working days and still recieve absolutely fuck all in the mail.  At this point I'm wondering if even using the post is even viable any more, this is the fifth time in recent memory they've fucked up and this time the very real possibility they've flat out LOST the damn thing exists.  First they shipped an international express parcel to another town, then they did it a second time a few months later, then they spend over a week delivering a supposed express parcel, and now they've spent longer to the point snail mail has a shorter damn delivery time.

It's a real pity I live in the ends of the damn planet so I have to use post, because otherwise I would very happily never use it again.  Because I am completely, utterly, irrevocably PISSED OFF now.  I have had it, I'm sick to death of this god damned fucking service fucking up, and most importantly paying them for these fuck ups.  Snail mail having delays is one thing, you expect that with snail mail.  The whole entire reason express mail even exists is to avoid this shit, so what the fuck am I paying for?  Because it sure as hell isn't prompt service with almost no risk of loss of property.   

At this point I'm just going to write off the game I had on order, it hasn't arrived and frankly I no longer even want it to. Starting today I'm not even going to waste my time checking the po box for it, nor the tracking. Speaking of the tracking, what fool decided to have a tracking system that only actually tracks things when they arrive in your area? The whole point of tracking is so you can tell where a parcel is and locate it if something gets fucked up, so only having it track when it's at your area is completely redundant and helps do jack and shit.


And with that rant over I can now go on about the day without feeling like giving everything and everyone around death stares that could melt the ice caps. Rants may not change anything, but they sure as hell make me feel better afterwards.

Bloke across the aisle from me on the plane this morning had a snore that could wake the dead. I did not sleep well.  

Ants, they're looking set to once again invade the flat. I thought I'd seen the last of them a couple of years back after they simply vanished after invading the entire house, but now they're looking set to launch a full scale invasion back in to the foundations of my home. Naturally the room they're looking set to start from is my own bedroom, rather than the other two empty bedrooms.

When your really nice-tasting ice lolly starts to disintegrate all over you.  And your laptop.

Also, when a bird poops in our ice cream.  I have avoided this foulest of fates by a matter of inches.

The first day that the students are in for lessons. This is the start of my twelfth year of teaching and it still gets me nervous: I'd take any other day of the academic year over this one.

Even OFSTED day?

But... But wouldn't any other day, moved to the start of the year, still be the first day or the year?

We've had a new store manager at work for the past month. Our previous manager, who has gone to another store while their manager is out sick, was a very genuine guy who knew what he was doing, trusted his staff and spoke to people like human beings without ever forcing it. We also hardly ever saw him on our department.

The new guy is a creepy fucking weirdo who constantly has one of those dead - eyed fake smiles plastered over his face, starts conversations like he's your best mate even if he's never met you before, and is constantly down our end of the store telling us how to do a job we've been doing competently for years. He's a massive bellend whom I genuinely despise. I wish he'd just bite a curb so I could stamp on his fucking head.

That said, I'm quite good at being incredibly two-faced so he thinks we get on well
He also gave me some bottles of cider when I was employee of the month, whereas I think previous winners got sweet f a.

Folks yacking on on their mobile phone in the supermarket so loud you can here every single word clearly several isles away.  The creators of those phones have a lot to answer for.

Some people need to work on their indoor voice in general. Trying to sleep on an overnight flight recently was not helped by the two blokes (not lads, chaps or gents - these were definitely blokes) having a rather high-volume discussion.

Drunkalilly wrote:

That said, I'm quite good at being incredibly two-faced so he thinks we get on well

I'm no good at that.  My attempts at happy smiles towards people I don't get on with turn into hideous -style rictuses.  (Ricti?)