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 Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift

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Treesmurf
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Katie Hopkins
shanks
gjones
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masofdas
Muss
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The_Jaster
JayMoyles
ZeroJones
Balladeer
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Balladeer
The Next Miyamoto
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift   Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift - Page 34 EmptyFri 17 Sep 2021 - 20:53

Oh yes, Smurf had a kid since you've last visited these shores!
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Treesmurf
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift   Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift - Page 34 EmptyFri 17 Sep 2021 - 21:13

I suppose that is quite earth-shattering on a personal level (and in a good way I should add).
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stu_the_great
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift   Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift - Page 34 EmptyWed 22 Sep 2021 - 8:31

@Treesmurf wrote:
Stu! Welcome back, totally unexpected but very much great to see you. I hope things are well, I can happily report things are going pretty fabulously too.

Cheers, Smurf!

Also great to hear about the baby Smurf! Congratulations! Grin
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masofdas
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift   Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift - Page 34 EmptySat 2 Oct 2021 - 11:39

Not really pissed off more of a annoyance and just sort like to talk to someone.

Few of you may remember my Dad's ill and still is 17 months later, last night or guess this morning as it went about 2am had another ambulance out. The guy was good and my Dad already back home after given morphine then back you go basically the few times this has happened.

It's just become draining more than anything and I know when I talk to my Doctor on Monday as I've not felt great myself past few weeks, it be ohh it's stress which likely is, just I don't know what to do about it all.

Like today because of the times of ambulance, having to pick up Dad, along with having to keep a eye on him. I've called into work as a dependent day, this is not the first time been other occasions like this. There's like counsellor person I'm talking to every few weeks about this, how I feel, she reckons how I talk about my Dad that I'm sort of a carer now that because of stuff like today I should be able to claim carer allowance, sure my Dad is more important than work just only so many days of someone can have, or even fuel driving around.

Sorry to bore you guys but only got so many people can talk to.
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Treesmurf
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift   Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift - Page 34 EmptySat 2 Oct 2021 - 22:18

You've absolutely nothing to apologise for mate, does he have any carers who come to visit with it being long term as it might be worth asking if they can set something up if not, even if it's just to allow you a bit of time for yourself or give you some peace of mind that he's being checked on. Wish I could offer some actual concrete advice for you but what I can say is you're incredibly strong for being there as much as you can for him. Falcon Punch
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Muss
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift   Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift - Page 34 EmptySun 3 Oct 2021 - 13:36

These sorts of things can be very physically and emotionally draining, especially when you're put in that situation of balancing work and home. Puts a big weight on your shoulders. Try not to feel guilty about the choices you make. Sounds like you want to prioritise your dad which is great and the right thing to do. but as you say you've got to work to and its important to keep doing things you enjoy too. There's no shame in feeling conflicted in this situation, which is why talking to your councilor if that's helping you is important. They might give you some means of helping you manage that conflict and help you work towards some sort of balance. Councillors are often goal oriented with their clients so they'll possibly have something in mind for you already, but to get the most out of them in my experience it helps to be honest about what you'd like to improve as that let's them target their sessions with you.

However, if what they're saying isn't working and you still have these stress symptoms then you should try to be open with that too if you can. When I was being Councillor I got referred higher up the food chain for my depression and anxiety. So it doesn't help everyone.

If you have the money to do so and you're not sure the councilors are enough, you might try finding a private therapist. It can get expensive but they're also a tier above a Councillor and you won't have to wait 9 months to see one like you would on the NHS. And they might also be qualified to diagnose you with something specific rather than stress or general anxiety as a GP would. Not saying you need to, but it could be an option to look into one day. If you stall with the gp and councilor. If there is something you should be diagnosed with, finding out earlier is always better and the NHS won't diagnose anything specific unless they give you a full psychiatric exam, and getting one of those os hard.

So 100% if you stall with councilors and your gp, have a look at rates for therapy in your area. If talking really helps you, that's what they specialise in. Your GP telling you it's stress is understandable, but all they'll probably do is refer you to a councilor or offer entry level depression medication if you push for it.

Sorry for the ramble, I might be blowing things out of proportion. I just know how hard it can be to manage your mental health so thought I'd share. What I'm basically trying to say is hang in there, soubds like you're doing a good job already, work through your feelings with a councilor and try not to be afraid of getting more support if that's what you need. The NHS is a bit crap with mental health to put it mildly so do consider private treatment if you can afford it, even if its just a few sessions. I hope things improve for your dad but it seems like you're doing everything anyone could reasonably expect you to.
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masofdas
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift   Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift - Page 34 EmptySun 3 Oct 2021 - 15:33

Thanks guys, the councillor is via work and what I've been told by my a manager why I've got decentish health thing through work is they want you working, that I'm guessing the goal would be me at work not take days off.

I will see what GP says tomorrow, with my symptoms which is basically a cold (had a covid test) / having a bad panic attack type thing if something they do for me or as my GP is same as my Dad's that she will say stress because of stuff going on.

No career come visit him as I don't know how you would even go about that, then most days he's fine then be days like yesterday, or I'll do go do a food shop for him or take him to something that sort of thing.
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Balladeer
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift   Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift - Page 34 EmptyMon 4 Oct 2021 - 9:50

Smurf is right, definitely no apology necessary - sounds like an awful spot to be in. Aww! Sadly from what I've heard from other people, Muss is right about the NHS and mental health. I can't really suggest anything to help and Muss is obviously vastly more experienced on this, so I'll just say I hope you and Masofdad both improve and that you can carve out some time for your own piece of mind.
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Buskalilly
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift   Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift - Page 34 EmptyTue 5 Oct 2021 - 6:24

Sounds like a tough one, Mas, especially as you're not in the kind of job you could rearrange, work from home or take an extended leave from. I hope they can be understanding and offer practical solutions.

I had a long talk with my best friend over here yesterday which saw us both in tears at points; he's found out his dad has only 1-3 months left and I opened up about losing my grandfather last year (whom I was closer to than either of my parents). He's wanting to try to go back to Canada for a bit but with work, VISAs and so on, it's a lot to deal with. At the moment, he's manager of our department and I'm just below him, so the situation will probably be me carrying the company for a month or so while he's out.
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Balladeer
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift   Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift - Page 34 EmptyTue 5 Oct 2021 - 10:29

Acht, that's shite. Aww! Good luck carrying the company Buska, and hope he gets to go back, natch.
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Muss
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift   Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift - Page 34 EmptyTue 5 Oct 2021 - 11:45

Ah you're getting the counselling through work. That could be good if they're understanding and there are good support mechanisms in place, hope there are.

Most mental health treatment in this country is CBT focused, which is generally what councillors offer after your first few sessions with them. That can really work for some people, but CBT is really about giving people methods to deal with their symptoms when they arise as opposed to confronting and dealing with the trauma that's caused those symptoms. E.g., do X when you recognise you might have a panic attack. For some people that's enough to help them over a rough patch and get back to feeling better. It can also work long term for some people as well.

If you keep seeing a councillor, which I think you should, then that's probably what will happen. You can also self-refer to NHS councillors in your area if you want more support. They're generally a good place to start as you will talk things through and they might also be able to point you towards any extra support you could apply for regarding your home situation. But if you're not improving as you're seeing these people then don't be ashamed. They aren't silver bullets that work for everyone and it's worth asking them about what other options you have/looking into what other mental health practices are in your area.

Hope your situation also works out Buska, sounds tricky.
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Buskalilly
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift   Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift - Page 34 EmptyTue 5 Oct 2021 - 12:03

To be honest, all the trickiness is on his part- all I have to be is supportive and then presumably work really busy days for a bit. I'll have a lot on my plate, but not difficult decision making.

Andy, Jay and I were talking a lot about CBT as we played Monhan the other night.
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stu_the_great
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift   Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift - Page 34 EmptyWed 6 Oct 2021 - 8:57

Sorry to read that you're having a bit of a rough time at the moment, Mas, and you too, Buska. Aww!

Mas: I totally understand the panic attack, especially considering your circumstances with your Dad being unwell.
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gjones
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift   Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift - Page 34 EmptyWed 6 Oct 2021 - 12:21

@masofdas wrote:
Sorry to bore you guys but only got so many people can talk to.
Don't be sorry mate, talking is the best thing you can do. Ask your GP about talking therapy sessions - I was battling depression for years and found just sitting in a room with other people, hearing how others are in similar mental states and the things we all do to cope with it, is a great help. CBT is definitely the thing they go through and it's really interesting to see how your body and brain cope with different scenarios. Panic attacks are nothing to sneeze at (I had one whilst driving) so definitely seek professional advice.

@Muss wrote:
But if you're not improving as you're seeing these people then don't be ashamed. They aren't silver bullets that work for everyone and it's worth asking them about what other options you have/looking into what other mental health practices are in your area.
This is a great point.

@Muss wrote:
The NHS is a bit crap with mental health, to put it mildly
There is some truth to this, however. When I changed GP and stopped the talking therapy, I was put on stronger anti-depressants and left to my own devices. They didn't chase me to check I'm taking them, which I wasn't because they gave me the shits.

Best thing to do if you're in a bad way mentally is have a chat, either with mates, us lot, or randoms. It definitely helps.
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The Cappuccino Kid
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift   Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift - Page 34 EmptyWed 6 Oct 2021 - 15:38

@gjones wrote:


Best thing to do if you're in a bad way mentally is have a chat, either with mates, us lot, or randoms. It definitely helps.

I’m no mental health practitioner nor councillor, but I work closely enough with various mental health charities and therapeutic services to understand that, aye, these relationships in a reflective space can be really advantageous.

The National Union of Students Scotland also provided me with this list of information, self-help and self-advocacy websites and apps for anybody who’d like to explore these:

Info, Self-Help & Self-Advocacy Websites/Apps:
 
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