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 February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews

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Balladeer
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PostSubject: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyMon 25 Jan 2021 - 19:17

This is kind of a separate project, and it is happening in February, so: new thread, new name!  (Thanks as always Jimbob.)

The basic idea of this thread is that everybody who wants one gets a crap game to play in February and writes a review for us all to laugh at.  The original plan was this:
- I use Meta/Opencritic to find eShop games that have < 40%;
- I check which of those games have a price of under a tenner;
- Everyone who wants to play is given a randomly chosen game from that list to buy and review.

There are a few issues with this.  Issue one is that there are actually only 32 games with Metascore under 40.  Not a big deal: there are almost 100 under 50.  Issue two is that people have mentioned that they already have games of less than a quid that they might want to review.  My suggestion there would be that any game that's under a fiver that doesn't have a Metascore becomes eligible for selection too, and maybe also anything that's under a pound with a score less than 65(?); but this doesn't allow for people who have already bought games and want it to be restricted to their collection.  So, I'm open to ideas!

Please: mention below if you're interested, and let me know what you think about the above/whether you would rather pick from games you already own.


Last edited by Balladeer on Tue 26 Jan 2021 - 8:59; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Edited for clarification)
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masofdas
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyMon 25 Jan 2021 - 20:26

Looking at my collection I would be happy to play any of these, unless I spot something in a sale before Feb or is part of sub like I have a feeling Street Power Football will be a Stadia Pro game for Feb

Submerged on Stadia, 44 Meta
Monster Jam Steel Titans on Stadia, 49 Open
Adam's Venture: Origins on Xbox One, 48 Meta
The World II Hunting BOSS on Xbox One, No Score
Morkredd on Xbox One, No Score
Strength of the Sword ULTIMATE on Xbox One, No Score, I backed this for Wii U and played it on Wii U at EGX

Those are below 50 and on modern systems, now I could go retro and play likes of Universal Studios Theme Parks Adventure on the GameCube and good knows what on 3DO that I might have.

If the score is higher than 50 then I did spot a few other games that I own that I may consider playing even things like Killer is Dead which I can't believe is a 64, like I'm now curious why so low.


Last edited by masofdas on Tue 26 Jan 2021 - 11:54; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Looked at my backlog / subs)
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The Cappuccino Kid
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyTue 26 Jan 2021 - 9:04

Unless I find something retro that really catches my attention, I think I'll go get Vroom In The Night Sky with its 17% Metacritic score.
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JayMoyles
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyTue 26 Jan 2021 - 18:14

Oh lord, I've seen footage of that one Cappa... good luck!

I'll have a browse through the eShop sales and see if I can unearth any hidden nuggets of shite to share with you all.
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gjones
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyTue 26 Jan 2021 - 18:55

There's a couple of these that are also on PS4 which I'd gladly join in with Smile

Fear Effect Sedna
Woodle Tree Adventures Deluxe
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Treesmurf
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyTue 26 Jan 2021 - 20:40

I think below 50 is probably rubbish enough to include, which I have two of, Scribblenauts Showdown and Shaq-Fu neither of which seem THAT bad I suppose. I'm happy to also include PS4 games as well if it adds to it though, I'm sure there's some trash on that too. Happy to spend at least a tenner though, I waste money anyway so I might as well waste it on this.
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Rum
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyTue 26 Jan 2021 - 21:35

I don't think I have any games that are ranked that poorly (because I'm a lady of taste), so am happy to take a suggestion of a total jobby of a game.
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Balladeer
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyThu 28 Jan 2021 - 19:50

Okay, it's looking like there are a fair few people who want to take part but want to use specific games or games from their libraries. If you folks want to pick your games, then I'll randomly pick games that aren't those for Rum, Smurf (maybe?), myself, and anybody else who wants to trust their game pick to the RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR.
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masofdas
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyThu 28 Jan 2021 - 20:19

I'm up for random, just something that own which you can see from my backloggery link if you want to find something else bad
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Buskalilly
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyThu 28 Jan 2021 - 23:18

I've got a couple of 8p impulse purchases already and I don't trust numbers, random or otherwise.
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Treesmurf
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyFri 29 Jan 2021 - 0:04

Yeah I'm definitely fine for random, I'll play any ol' shite.
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The Cappuccino Kid
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyFri 29 Jan 2021 - 13:26

I'm going retro for this, I've found some utter rubbish in my collection that's begging to be slaughtered.  Thumbs Up!
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptySat 30 Jan 2021 - 10:59

Looking forward to those!Grin

@masofdas wrote:
I'm up for random, just something that own which you can see from my backloggery link if you want to find something else bad

Not the point of random Mas. Sulk Fine though, once I've done the other random picks I'll give you a pick from your list above.

@Buskalilly wrote:
I've got a couple of 8p impulse purchases already and I don't trust numbers, random or otherwise.

Cheeky

What if one of those 8p purchases is quite good though? What do you use as a metric for potential shite when you don't trust scores?
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masofdas
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptySat 30 Jan 2021 - 12:16

I own 1700+ games (okay I can't play any of the PS4/5/PSN games at the moemnt) plus have access to more due to Game Pass etc that I'm sure you can do random from such a wide selection compared to check 4500+ Switch games (not sure how accurate that is as that seems a lot) okay maybe not.
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Jimbob
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptySun 31 Jan 2021 - 16:16

I will happily purchase any cheap shit I am told to purchase. Just checking: if I have the game on another format, am I allowed to just play that version?
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Balladeer
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptySun 31 Jan 2021 - 17:07

Oh yep of course! It doesn't need to be on Switch: see Cappa, Mas, and GJones above.

So that's Jim me Smurf and Rum who I'm picking games for tomorrow (and then Mas out of his list). Can't wait to read some of these reviews! (Definitely can wait to get whatever I'm allocated...)
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Balladeer
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyMon 1 Feb 2021 - 19:44

Everyone who wanted a random shoddy game has a random shoddy game!  I made the executive decision to skip one pick that was multiplayer-focussed: I don't want anybody else to be subject to this drivel.  There was also one game in those depths that clocked in at £17, so that got skipped!  

By the way: if anybody else wants to join in the 'fun' and for me to designate them a shoddy game, let me know. Smile
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masofdas
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyMon 1 Feb 2021 - 20:11

What was the £17 game?
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Balladeer
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyMon 1 Feb 2021 - 20:27

https://www.metacritic.com/game/switch/thief-of-thieves-season-one So at least you'd have been getting 47 Metascore for your money!  Some of us did not get anywhere near that...

By the way: for those going down the random route, the idea I had in mind is that nobody would know what you're reviewing until you splash it all over their screens, but that's just my idea. Do whatever you need to do to assuage the despair.
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masofdas
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyMon 1 Feb 2021 - 21:02

I've played Thief of Thieves and I actually liked it
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Rum
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyMon 1 Feb 2021 - 21:34

@Balladeer wrote:
By the way: for those going down the random route, the idea I had in mind is that nobody would know what you're reviewing until you splash it all over their screens, but that's just my idea.  Do whatever you need to do to assuage the despair.

That's a nice idea, although I am Switch pals with many of you, so the surprise might be revealed through that!

Is there a deadline for getting these played and reviewed?
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Balladeer
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyMon 1 Feb 2021 - 21:45

Argh, good point. Oh well, I'll try not to pay too much attention to those alerts during February!

And I guess technically the end of Bum Poo Wee Games Month? But nobody's going to hassle you too much if you miss the 'deadline'. I might ask you if it's going okay, once.
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The Cappuccino Kid
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyTue 2 Feb 2021 - 12:26

You can probably have my review in a couple of days, I'll type up my thoughts on my next break.
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyThu 4 Feb 2021 - 23:27

In your own time Cappa, of course - but needless to say (but I’ll say it anyway), I can’t wait to read exactly what hole you rip this particular game. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews   February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews EmptyFri 5 Feb 2021 - 15:50

February Bum Poo Wee Games Reviews SI_Wii_Flingsmash_image1600w

Everybody knew what the deal was with FlingSmash. In the same way that Wii Play was bundled with an original Wii remote in 2006, FlingSmash came bundled with a new and upgraded Wii RemotePlus four years later. And much like Wii Play, nobody was highly anticipating FlingSmash because it looked class in it’s own right. People were only arsed with FlingSmash because it was basically a fiver when you factored in the usual cost of the controller. That was it. It was the video game equivalent of saying ‘acht, I might as well’ at the cinema when a large drink costs £4 and an extra-large one is 50p more. I tell you what though, if FlingSmash were a drink at the cinema, it would be an extra-large, frothy, steaming cup of pish - one that’s overfilled and spilling onto your hand.

FlingSmash is an unusual block-breaking waggle-a-thon where you “bounce, roll and smash your way to saving Suthon Island!”. Named liked a clearance clothes shop in a failing shopping centre, Suthon Island is the location of all the world’s nature, spirit and power. Something bad happens where a big villain steals stuff and makes people sick (I don’t really know, I skipped the opening, fuck this game), before you come along to save the day. You take on the role of Zip or his pal Pip, each looking like a cross between the Annoying Orange and my right and left testicle. All set up to go, you adventure through eight worlds with three stages and one boss apiece. You auto-scroll along generic and ill-fitted platformer levels while you’re bashing enemies, smashing through brickwork and hunting for medals before mercilessly coming to its end and researching which second-hand shops still accept Wii games. 

Bearing in mind that it’s effectively a pack-in game, FlingSmash wasn't required to be the deepest or richest thing on the Wii. Really, it only needed to do one thing well, and that's show off the controls. Yet predictably, it really makes a horse’s arse of one thing, and that's showing off the controls. 

FlingSmash is a pile of sweaty arse to play. Smacking the MotionPlus around and bringing together all of the very worst aspects of the late 2000’s motion-controlled phenomenon, it’s physically exhausting, repetitive, unintuitive and - scandalously - unreliable. It’s the last negative in particular that’s especially galling, as FlingSmash fails to pick up the direction of your swinging all the time. Too often there was a massive discontent between my motions and what was happening on the screen. I was bowling my controller like Shane Warne in his prime but then watching my gurning left bollock hurtle about like Posh Spice on coke. Every breathing moment you’re watching helplessly as Zip and Pip dart all over the place, ricocheting off of everything and generally doing nothing remotely similar to what you’ve gestured. Between it’s failure to read your trajectory properly, it’s enthusiasm for picking up your accidental movements and with the sheer number of times you have to recalibrate your MotionPlus during gameplay, what chance have you got?

What’s the point? Why does this exist? There’s no worse showcase for the Wii RemotePlus than FlingSmash. Nothing else compensates for these abysmally inaccurate controls. And having been developed by Artoon, you know nothing’s going to save it. You remember Artoon, don’t you? Try not to. Anyway, true to form FlingSmash has all of their signature bad design. That’s including the unlikeable characters, the horrible art, the uninspiring stages, the ear-splitting sound design, the infuriating lack of a sensible difficulty curve and that unmistakable feeling that you’re completely and utterly wasting your time.

I think that FlingSmash is the worst game that Nintendo has published. You see, as easy as it is to baw-boot those old NES Sports games like Soccer and Volleyball, you can at least acknowledge that they were made to run on really limited hardware and understand that they were released at a time not far removed from the advent of home gaming. And while there might be other, more contemporary contenders (I think Animal Crossing amiibo Festival and Wario: Master of Disguise are in the conversation too) FlingSmash manages to outshiteify them all. Just...fuck me, this game is terrible.
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