Gaming Clerihews (and Other Gaming Poetry)

Heihachi
His hair is patchy
You can see him in swimwear
So everything's fair

Harada
Wants his dick harder
These are not twitter fails
Because they're not for females.

Nigel Farage
I will launch a barrage
Of powerful kicks and punches
Until he sicks up the past week's lunches

Wii Sports
Tennis played on wee courts
Boxing, bowling and golf in there too
There's also baseball if that's a thing for you.

Balladeer
Would be happier
If he didn't have to get out of bed today.
Sadly there are pesky "things to do" getting in the way.

gjones wrote:

I like to do a poo
The texture's World of Goo
I'm seriously crying here
That awful smell of diarrhoea

WE HAVE A WINNER


Dizzy
Lately you haven't been so busy
Your kickstarter failed
But in all fairness your gameplay is archaically detailed

Captain Toad
Sets off on the road
To track some treasure
But up against Mario he doesn't measure

Nasus, the Curator of the Sands
You'll find him in the top lane, slapping noobs with his jackal hands.
Still not as cool as Reyn
SUCK IT BITCHES IT'S REYN TIME!

I've fallen out with Fire Emblem Birthright
Not because it's shite
But because I'd gotten to the final chapter after many a close shave
I died and guess what I'd not done in about two hours - save.

JayMoyles
Sometimes spoils
Games for himself, and starts raving
About not saving.

Balladeer
I'm beginning to fear
Just started this thread
So things about fellow forumites can be said.

My desire
To play Fire Emblem could be higher
Demoralised by my defeat
At least the characters in this game have feet

Robin, the hero
Has zero
Things on the end of his limbs,
Or "her", if you prefer hers to hims.

The clerihew
Is a noble form of art, that would eschew
Being used a tool to insult ne'er-do-wells.
(FYI Drunkalilly smells.)

Robin is not a character
In fact it is an avatar
Fire emblem is pish & to say it is a pleasure
Nintendo don't own me so I will not be censored.

King Hippo, oh King Hippo,
How I wish that you were mine.
Sitting on a tea plate,
Covered in margar-yne.

...err...aye.

Mighty No. 9
Is not so very fine
In fact, you could describe it as 'poor'
For Inafune, it's back to the drawing board

My taglines
Are damn fine
Best puns in the land
Don't you dare boo this man

CM Punk
Said what we all thunk
When Jay or someone
Else makes a bad pun.

Fred McAuley
Is also good when puns make you feel poorly:
The best thing to do
Is to yell, "****in' "

Undertale's Sans
Would love to spend time in these lands;
But his brother Papyrus
Might feel we're a virus.

Electrode
Often rigged to explode
Looks just like a Pokéball
Its disguise doesn't fool me at all

Lu Bu
Needs a poo
All the cubicles are taken by eunuchs (they can't stand and pour)
So begins his hate and chopping men with swords

Hate to break it to you drunka but "swords" doesn't rhyme with ")"

Double post and not a clerihew, but I found this:

Squirtle is blue
So is Feraligatr;
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That's nop-totch Ducky. And in celebration, I'm extending the thread to other gaming poetry (haikus are crap, put some rhymes/effort in). Which means, for me: it's limerick time!

An Italian plumber named Mario
Defeats often his rival named Wario.
But so nice is he, each
Time, before he snogs Peach,
He turns 'round to his foe and says "Sorry-o."

Ah, go on, I want to do a haiku!

Most haikus are crap because people just split up one big long sentence.
(that above sentence could itself be a crap haiku)
Here's one about F-Zero GX:

Oh my God that's fast!
This is really really fast!
It is just too fast.

Yeah, you're right Balla, haikus are crap. I don't want to do a Limerick, and don't know a fourth type of poem...

...no haikus unless you've had at least two votes in one edition of the "funniest forumite" category, let's say. That was gold.

I reviewed a Transformer entirely in haiku. It makes sense if you've seen the film...

I also wrote a load about Godzilla back in 2014:

Maybe I'll do a sonnet about Daisy.

Dragon Quest
For my money it's the best
Of the RPG's I've played in my time
Fell in love with them since I first played 9