Kirby's rumour buffet!

Zero wrote:

Nintendo Vs. Capcom

GIVE THAT TO ME NOW!

On Switch, the Dark Souls series is taking a slightly different turn. The first sequel will actually be Dark Codd, followed by Dark Maquerel, Dark Sammon, and Dark Trowt. The series will culminate in the only videogame to feature Matthew Holness, Dark Place.

Shigeru Miyamoto to launch this year's Nintendo Direct E3 by saying: 'Nintendo were w**kers, the Wii U was f**ked, and you're a c**t if you bought a Wii U.'

Our sources report that the reason Miitomo is being wound down is to make server space for the next big Nintendo mobile game. With the working title 'Nintendo RPG', it's an old-school turn-based RPG with all of Nintendo's characters put together à la Super Smash Bros. After forming your initial party of four randomly selected characters - you could get Mario, or you could get Tingle, or Generic Mii #479 - you can add to your party with a paid gacha service. The game is free to start, naturally.

Mate. The thread's for pretend rumours only. Get your genuine leaks out of here.

Can't help it if my satire happens to brush with reality occasionally!

I have it on good authority that F-Zero will be returning in 2018... in Happy Meal form!!!

That's right, Grimace and the Hamburglar are getting some well deserved R&R as Nintendo finally merge their chronically unpopular franchise with dubious meat and salt!

Still more likely than an actual F-Zero game.

With AAA development costs spiralling all the time, quick spin-offs are the way forward for Square-Enix. Their next Dragon Quest spin-off will be set in and around Zenithia, the castle that featured heavily in DQIV, DQV and DQVI. It’s an action RPG all the way and has been described, totally not lazily at all, as being a bit like Dark Souls. Fight wave after wave of baddies in Dragon Quest Tildes.

...I don't get it.

Hmmm... I was worried about this one. The joke is all at the end, cos the tilde (~) looks like a wave.

I will retrieve my blazer.

...aaaaaaah.

As long as I’ve been booed, my work is done.

*places retrieved blazer on person; heads out*

We've heard tell that for the one new Pokémon in the Let's Go duo, Game Freak decided to irritate people who object to humanoid designs and people who object to inanimate designs alike, by basing it on a forumite with a fistful of pasta.

Pokémon Let's Go! Linoonguine and Let's Go! Farfettucine coming soon.

There's suggestions from IGN Kenya, GameSpot Northern Bulgaria and Kotaku Coatbridge that Nintendo are about to 'pull a SEGA' at their upcoming Direct livestream, and do the same with Super Smash Bros Ultimate that SEGA did with the Saturn: bring the launch date forward, and immediately release it on May 11th 1995.

That does show how the times have changed as now a game, phone or even a console can be announced to come out within 6 months easily.

Along with the breaking news from Cappa's three sources, Polygon's Auchtermuchty offices have uncovered some code in a demo build of Soul Calibur VI which suggests that Negan from The Walking Dead turning up in Tekken 7 isn't the most surprising fighting game character reveal this year - we're getting Carol Vorderman scrapping with Voldo this Autumn.

Also Laura Kate Dale's alter ego based in Ouagadougou has confirmed that Sakurai has heard all your death threats about Waluigi not making it into SSBU, so he'll be making an appearance...

...in the bushes outside your home, camcorder in hand, wheezing softly to himself. Okay, so it's not Waluigi, it's a homeless guy they dressed in a Waluigi outfit; but next best thing, right?

According to yer ma's da's mate down the pub, Capcom are expanding their 'cinematic universe' with an exciting crossover adventure. It introduces the beautiful ukiyo-e-esque art style of a recent release to the world of Street Fighter. This being Capcom, and therefore in no way immune to stupid decisions, it's going to be an episodic title, with each episode starring a different character. The first episode will be set in London. Coming to the eShop this autumn: O-Cammy.

October is of course the month of Alternative Comedy DLC. I'm personally looking forward to Horizon Zero Dawn French. Next up: Shadow of the Tomb Rade Edmonson. I couldn't think of a third one, but refuse to delete this.

You forgot about Limmings, you fool.

Jimbob wrote:

October is of course the month of Alternative Comedy DLC. I'm personally looking forward to Horizon Zero Dawn French.

Hopefully that'll be better than Dawn Frenchy Bird.

I've been outplayed twice in a row there!

Luigi's Playboy Mansion is on it's way to The Nintendo 3DS Family Of Systems™!!

In this new action-adventure experience, Luigi explores the mansion's rooms in the hunt for the ghosts of Hugh Hefner, Charlton Heston and The Ghost Of Shagging Past. To assist him in his task, Luigi uses a fleshlight and an invention supplied by E. Gagg - the Polterbust 3000, a specially modified, high powered vacuum cleaner that will have to suck up more than ghosts...

Spoiler: