Kirby's rumour buffet!

Sounds legit!

@Buskalilly wrote:

I remember when I was trying to find my way to a party in London on very low battery and with no mobile data. My technique was to sneak into a series of betting shops, as they all have free wi-fi and unguarded plug sockets . . .

Aw, don't remind me... My most shameful moment in my current relationship was when The Lady was getting back late from a gig and I forgot I'd locked the door up with the latch and everything. She couldn't get in, I didn't wake up when she banged the door so hard she had to ice her wrist, her 'phone died so she couldn't call her mates, and she had to trawl the pubs and clubs of my area past midnight trying to find somewhere to charge her 'phone. It was at this point when I woke up, freaked out, called her dead 'phone (several times) and all her friends in a state, and eventually picked her up in tears from a pub she'd found that would let her charge it. She wasn't even that angry.

Sorry, totally using your anecdote for my own catharsis. You did better than she did! I'll pass on the betting shops advice for next time, after I've crawled out of the Shame Pit I'll have dug myself.

As leaked to a journalist at IGN Kyrgyzstan: Boris Johnson to using a live televised address to the nation at 8pm tonight to announce that the Mega Drive was better than the SNES.

Sounds like the sort of thing he'd do. Bet he thinks Crash is better than Mario and all.

Put this in your Fantasy Game League because my Nintendo Life Zaire sources tell me it's official: Monolift Soft are developing Naked Attraction: The Game for Nintendo Switch.

I lied in the other topic; Pokémon Snap does require you to press the Screenshot button to take all snaps. The advantage of this and the recent Switch update is that you can jog over to the PC and swap the photos over. Oak then gives you 1000 point for a great picture of Jet from the Gladiators.

In other news, every single person's first picture they show to the Professor is porn.

NASA's Perseverance rover has successfully landed in a deep crater on Mars. The American space agency has published photos that are making headline news, but here's the one they're not letting you see. My sources at C&VG West Morocco have shared with me that Perseverance has gathered conclusive proof that there is indeed life on Mars:

Spoiler:

 

Project: Rhombus Moral Choices.

Somehow it's also a roguelike.

Following Crystal Palace 0-0 Fulham and Chelsea 0-0 Manchester United, EA have decided to cancel FIFA 22, "because nobody likes football anymore".

As a Spurs fan, I find this terrible timing from EA, as this is the moment I started liking football again.

Following Tottenham Hotspur 4-0 Burnley, Psygnosis have decided to revive Adidas Power Soccer.

Without wishing to outright ruin any surprises, my source at VG247 Ottoman Empire has text me ahead of XBox's summer conference. They advise to "expect big news about NFL Quarterback Club '97 on the SEGA Saturn".

Sounds legit. As opposed to big news about International Track and Field, which sounds leg-it.

@Balladeer wrote:

Sounds legit.  As opposed to big news about International Track and Field, which sounds leg-it.

Sounds leg-it. As opposed to Mirror's Edge 3, which sounds ledge-it.

Breath of the Wild 2 is being developed by Arzest.

That's it. That's the rumour.

HD versions of all the 3D Zelda games are coming to Switch this year but to order it you have to obtain a unique code by 100% completing Skyward Sword HD, £50 per game, download only.

The gossip on Game Informer USSR's group chat is that the upcoming Nintendo gigaleak reveals that the original pack-in game for the Nintendo Wii was supposed to be Alan Hansen's Sports Challenge.

@Treesmurf wrote:

HD versions of all the 3D Zelda games are coming to Switch this year but to order it you have to obtain a unique code by 100% completing Skyward Sword HD, £50 per game, download only.

I'd probably buy them

I already have them pre ordered.

My sources tell me that Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze is getting yet another port. The difference this time is that it'll allow you to play the entire game as a roguelike.

Get ready... for New Spelunky Mode.

There are also a lot of references to Joe Biden, the pandemic and the situation in Afghanistan waiting for you when you pick up Donkey Kong Country: Topical Freeze.

Navigate the effects of Brexit and the pandemic, as you travel isolate around the world in Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Fees

I also can't wait for the spin-off where Donkey Kong is put in charge of Brexit and the pandemic, and governs it exactly like the actual British government, in Donkey Kong Country: Topical Sleaze.

Just make sure you type these correctly in to Google so you don't end searching for the 18 rated spin off Donkey Schlong: Down to his Knees.