Last Retro Game You Finished And Your Thoughts

The Cappuccino Kid wrote:

 “Feel like shit just want Gamestation back” indeed.

Recently, I've been feeling really nostalgic for the second game shop which opened in my home town and lasted about a year. We had, and to my delight when I visited last year still have, an inependent store called Insane Games. Its a chain of about three or four stores in the Somerset area and they do new and used games for decent prices with friendly staff. Love it.

However, for a brief spell another bloke opened a game shop at the opposite end of town, down a bit of a side street. It didn't even have proper shelves for most of the time it was open, just games on the floor and some tables. The bloke was a proper games enthusiast though, and even though he had comic-book guy energy, for 13-year-old luke he was cool and it made me feel like someone actually respected me and listened to me when he would ask me questions about finidng specific obscure game boy games.

I can't remember what it was called, though.

TCK wrote:

Which character do you go? I usually pick Sarah “Fucking Arsehole“ Hill.

That's who I went for in the end too as I really struggled with the turning in Excitebike 64, so going her made it a wee bit better.

Aw, man, I've got to get in on Excitebike 64. I'm trying to play Paper Mario like a good boy eating his turn-based RPG veggies, but y'all sound like you're having a blast.

I'm actually excited to play Paper Mazza but my stupid brain insists on waiting until it's played SMRPG first.

Jimbob wrote:

Aw, man, I've got to get in on Excitebike 64. I'm trying to play Paper Mario like a good boy eating his turn-based RPG veggies, but y'all sound like you're having a blast.

This is only because I haven't even tried Excitebike 64, else I'd be moaning about how I wish I was eating my turn-based RPG veggies instead.

Would this change your opinion? No.

If turn-based RPGs were a vegetable they’d be brussels sprouts – the ones that leave you glued to the pan for two hours in the middle of the night. But Paper Mario is like a Golden Brussels Sprout that’s got tenners stuffed in it instead of flatulence.

But the even golden-er sprout that is Thousand Year Door is re-releasing, so... dunno, man.

Last N64 review for a while, ending this run with perhaps my longest post ever...



N64 Magazine said: “After the excellent Mystical Ninja 3D adventure, Goemon steps back to the days of the SNES for this average 2D platform romp. Disappointing.” 69% in Issue 29, ⅖ in Issue 59.
Nintendo Official Magazine said: “Cool 2D ninja adventure. Loadsa fun play styles”. 80% in Issue 96.

The first Mystical Ninja game on N64 had a fair bit of success, with a mental Japanese ‘quirkiness’ that helped it carve out its own niche next to the Super Mario 64’s and Banjo-Kazooie’s of the Nintendo 64 world. The highly complementary magazine reviews aided it’s cause, as did the word of mouth that told it was a far better 3D platformer than many of its other contemporaries. Hindsight tells me that Mystical Ninja: Starring Goemon was a massive departure for the series, which had traditionally been a side-scrolling 2D platformer designed for two players. For whatever reason - maybe just sticking to what they knew? - Konami returned to that SNES-era type of gameplay for Mystical Ninja 2: Starring Goemon. The result was a game that seemed bit too old-school and esoteric compared to what N64 Magazine and its peers were reviewing at the time. Fairly middling reviews meant that I didn’t bother picking it up when it was new, and I trust many others didn’t either; Mystical Ninja 2 wasn’t a game you’d ever see new or pre-owned in the shops, or available for rental. Years later though I knew I had to jump on it when I saw its price creeping upwards. Getting a complete-in-box copy of this for £20 is one of my greatest bargains ever, but it’s only now that I’m getting to sit down and actually play it all the way through.

Mystical Ninja 2: Starring Goemon is a weird as PAL N64 games get, with deep roots in Japanese culture and mythology. This can all be quite difficult to understand, but the uncomplicated stage-by-stage gameplay helps to overcome that barrier. Basically, you control four different characters with their own unique abilities, and traipse through forests, castles and other locales set in Feudal Japan. You start with Goemon (the all-rounder with the double-jump), and then discover his slow-but-powerful sidekick, Ebisumaru. It’s this tandem that provides a lot of the game’s comic relief, though neither are as versatile as the two others who eventually join your adventure. Shortly into the game, Sasuke the robot ninja joins your party, and he brings agility and upgradable weapons. Lastly, Yae the sword-fighting green-haired ninja becomes playable, and she can turn into a mermaid that carries a bazooka gun. With your companions, you collect Entry Passes to move through levels on five overworlds and gain access to each kingdom’s boss, so that you can retrieve a stolen time machine from an evil nun who’s actually a bloke. There’s sometimes more than one Entry Pass in each level, though usually it’s just a case of going left to right. That sounds simple, though it’s anything but.

This game is a seriously intense challenge, and it’s definitely one of the hardest I’ve played on the N64. That’s not be saying that it’s flagrantly unfair like Mortal Kombat Trilogy or anything like that, it’s just that Mystical Ninja 2 is fiendishly designed. This design, I feel, does let it down just a little bit. My feeling is that while enjoyable, Mystical Ninja 2’s levels are a wee bit too long, and fraught with just a bit too much danger that they can often become an exercise in frustration. I suffered many Game Overs here, even a couple in the first round of levels. I appreciate that I played a co-op game by myself, but apparently the challenge is proportionate with the number of players: it’s supposed to be a proper as-kicking when you’re playing alongside a pal. Thinking about it, Konami could have calmed down with the difficulty in Mystical Ninja 2. It’s as complex as it is challenging a lot of the time as well. I’ve emphasised that Mystical Ninja 2 is mostly a 2.5D platformer, but the adventure is broken up with 3D sections where you speak with townspeople and gain new tasks. There’s RPG elements to this too, like upgrading your weapons, buying inventory and resting up to recover health, which is all fair enough. Where it becomes challenging though is that Konami didn’t really translate these environments for a Western audience. I learned this with a walkthrough and then through trial and error: basically, if you don’t know what a Japanese hotel or café looks like, you’ll need to find out, otherwise you can’t heal, save, or essentially do many of the things that you’d assume would automatically happen in a game from 1999. The towns are large, complex and spaced-out, which I feels compounds that problem of poor signposting.

I don’t feel that these are so much complaints as they are annoyances though, as everything else about Mystical Ninja 2 is absolutely first class. It’s a very colourful and fluid platformer that’s brimming with confidence and imagination, and it’s surreal sense of humour gives it tons of likeable personality too. It controls reliably, the levels are plentiful, varied and interesting, the giant robot boss fights are really clever - and it’s basically everything you’d hope from a 2.5D platformer. Yet for me, the game’s massive surprise was its soundtrack. Mystical Ninja 2 has, without exaggeration, one of the best soundtracks I’ve ever heard on a cartridge-based game. It takes loads of inspiration for the game’s setting and uses many traditional strings, gongs and chimes, but the actual beats are a lot more contemporary, and the harmonies are almost all very catchy. It’s a really hummable songlist that’s got a totally unique vibe. Even if you don’t ever play the game, I urge you to give the soundtrack a listen.

The Mystical Ninja franchise have been out on its arse in the West for the best part of twenty years now, with Goemon himself only being kind-of-sighted as a Mii Fighter costume in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate since the days of Konami Krazy Racers. There’s seems to be no prospect for the franchise to return, which is a shame. With a few alterations to the difficulty and a updated graphical coating, I think it would have been ripe for a release on Wii – Mystical Ninja 2’s got that old-school gameplay that would have made it sit very nicely alongside New Super Mario Bros. Wii and Kirby’s Adventure Wii. Of course, you’d think Konami could straightforwardly compile many of the translated Mystical Ninja games for a digital release today, much like they have with Contra and Castlevania. As it is on N64, I’m still very impressed. Mystical Ninja 2: Starring Goemon is a massively underappreciated game and one of the console’s very best third-party releases. 9/10.

Ah go on, I'm too directionless/lazy to listen to more than ten seconds each of an entire soundtrack. Post us some of the best ones please?

What a write-up though for a 69%-er (and an uncomfortable reminder that NOM used 'words' like 'loadsa' with a straight face). Presumably one of those cases where a game just gets marked down because it's 2D. I can understand it in this case a bit, what with the sheer love N64 Mag had for Goemon 1, but it's interesting to read a completely different take. Good stuff.