Yesterday I Laughed

"Finally!" thought Zero. "I've thought of another entry in the Yesterday series!"

Yesterday (yes! Terday) I saw this on Twitter: https://twitter.com/centerofmath/status/557930760934785025. The middle of the three strips made me LOL my head off.

Oh, er, don't let the 'centerofmath' bit put you off.

This makes the Web Amusement Emporium thread cry.

It also makes me laugh. The third strip especially.

I understood none of that.

I understood the overweight one, but that's it.

Expect to see me post lots of things from The Poke and The Daily Mash in here. Both those sites make me laugh on a regular basis.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/minimum-entry-requirement-introduced-for-geeks-2013010855227

@Balladeer wrote:

This makes the Web Amusement Emporium thread cry.

Fair, but this thread can also do jokes and anecdotes, such as this one that I heard yesterday:

Q: Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Answer:

 

Fo'drizzle.

Y'all may have heard it before or spotted it coming, but I liked it.

I'll try some PG stuff for now, but I can go pretty dark...

What's an ig?

Spoiler:

 

An Ice House with no toilet

Why are there no pain killers in the jungle?

Spoiler:

 

The parrots ate 'em all

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch?

Spoiler:

 

Names.

How many ears does Jean-Luc Picard have?

Spoiler:

 

Three; a left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.

What do you call a cat that's swallowed a duck?

Spoiler:

 

A duck-filled fatty puss.

Love that Jean-Luc Picard one.

---

When I need a bit of a laugh I usually go in search of Mitch Hedberg jokes, here's some of my favourite lines from him.

"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."

"I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long"

"When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was."

[quote="Drunkalilly"]What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch?

Spoiler:

 

Names.

I laughed at that one, and then I felt a bit bad.

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

I need to repeat the joke sent into the Mario joke book for N64/NGC/NGamer here:

Who is Mario?

Spoiler:

 

Your mum

That made me laugh. I'm disappointed in myself.

I'll join you in your disappointment, Drunka. Although I also laughed at your post.

This thread is working too well!

How do you repair a broken string instrument?

Spoiler:

 

Cellotape

*gets coat*

That joke was violintly bad.

We've hit double bass.

I never said music puns were my forte.

I don't know what you to are harping on about.

Just a bit of no-strings fun.

Why couldn't the sailor wear sweatpants in the pub?

Spoiler:

 

Because he turned hard to port.

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

Spoiler:

 

A rip-off.

That one made me cringe rather than laugh.

My work here is done.

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a truck.

Spoiler:

 

Badum TSS

How do NASA organise a party?

Spoiler:

 

They planet

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Spoiler:

 

Dr. Dre

Stu's location. So mature.