Snacks! Reviews/'reviews' welcome

Dusty Knackers wrote:

Belgian Frangipanes (from Iceland, or Farm Foods or somewhere that sells cheap cakes, I can't be sure)

+

Moreish
Taste like Mr Kipling's Bakewell Slices
Clear packaging through which to see the deliciousness
Doesn't taste of lemons, despite saying so
Inexpensive (£1 for four!)


-

Contains lemon. Lemon is rubbish
Packet isn't easy to reseal, may go stale
There aren't enough in the world to eat
Only four per pack


93%

Overlook the fact that eating loads of them will make you fat, everyone should eat at least four twelve of these.

That is the first time ever that I've seen Frangipanis mentioned on a forum. A winner is you!

The latest posts are legendary - failed to contain my laughter whilst reading through those reviews.

Going to have to start adding photos to future reviews myself...

POM BEARS - Cheese and Onion flavour



Discovered these the other day, and they are actually pleasingly good crisps. A nice crunchy texture (they are made from dried potatoes, giving them a bubbled, prawn-cracker like surface) and each crisp is shaped like a teddy bear, a decent novelty.

They taste decent, too, though more onion-y than cheese-y.

Here's why they are more amazing than I expected, though: despite only being a 19 gram bag (this was a standalone purchase) the great thing about these is how many individual Pom Bears you get in the bag. So it feels like you're eating, say, a 32 gram bag since you can't really eat more than one Pom Bear at a time.

Pros
-Only 19 grams! So you feel less guilty when eating them.
-Lots of individual Pom Bears per bag.
-Amusing illustration of Pom Bear with his random friends at the back of the bag

Cons
-Cooked in vegetable oil, not sunflower oil
-Only 19 grams per bag?
-Hard to find

Verdict: 85%

Oh dayam now I want pombears, and a doubledecker.

Kellogg's Nutri-Grain Soft & Fruity Blueberry
(New wholegrain barley topping)



Pros

-Tastes a little like Blueberry

Cons

-Mushy
-Topping is basically some crubs somebody threw in after the rest of it and so go EVERYWHERE
-Long-ass name

Verdict: 13%

13% for a Nutri-Grain bar? Ruddy nora. I must have one myself and offer a second opinion.

Velvet Crunch - Thai Sweet Chilli Flavour



Pros:

Flavour packs less of a punch, more of a ten-ton hammer TO THE FACE.
Just 84 calories per pack
70% less fat than standard crisps
Cheap as buggery

Cons:

Too easy to wolf - little longevity beyond six seconds
Light taste means you don't always feel full after a bag, or even two.

84%

Not the sort of crisp you'd buy with a pint down the pub, but reinforces the fact that 'Less Fat' doesn't always mean 'Utter Shite'. Delicious!

The Kinder Bueno I paid for out of the work vending machine today

Got stuck. Cost 70p.

-70%

Morrison's bakery Pork Pie



Pros:

Nice buttery, crumbly crust.
None of that crappy jelly some pork pies have.
Good meat to pastry ratio.

Cons
Doesn't have a particularly long shelf life.

90%

Builds on the tried and tested formula of the pork pie genre and perfects it by getting all the key areas spot on.

Were you eating it outside at midnight? It looks very dark wherever you are.

That's it being shovelled into Treesmurf's massive gob.

They say it's like looking into the void itself.

Nestlé Breakaway


Half chocolate, half biscuit; surely everyone has been given a Breakaway biscuit by an elderly relative at some point in their life.

Pros:

• '99 Calories', screams the cheery yellow packaging.
  
• Easy to open.
  
• Has a freephone contact telephone number printed upon the packaging for the easily confused.
  
• Ideal with a nice cup of tea.*
  

Pros:

• As biscuits go, it's quite small.
  
• If you don't keep it somewhere cool, it leaves the packaging looking as though it's escaped from a baby's nappy.
  
• *Cup of tea not included.

76%

Not a bad effort, though it's one of those biscuits that will probably die out with the current generations of grandmas. This biscuit lives on borrowed time (and an easy-on-the-waistline 99 calories).

sporkhead wrote:

The latest posts are legendary - failed to contain my laughter whilst reading through those reviews.

Going to have to start adding photos to future reviews myself...

Pom Bears - Cheese and Onion flavour

Swear I've misread that as Porn Bears, twice. I was thinking "What is sporky eating?!" before realising.

ZeroJones wrote:

sporkhead wrote:

The latest posts are legendary - failed to contain my laughter whilst reading through those reviews.

Going to have to start adding photos to future reviews myself...

Pom Bears - Cheese and Onion flavour

Swear I've misread that as Porn Bears, twice. I was thinking "What is sporky eating?!" before realising.

same here.

ZeroJones wrote:

Swear I've misread that as Porn Bears, twice. I was thinking "What is sporky eating?!" before realising.

"Bit salty. 69%"

xD

I want that pork pie, sounds delicious.

I've got a duo of reviews to go up today, the first of which is...

Balconi Rollkao
"Soffice merenda farcita e ricoperta al cacao magro", according to Google Translate = Soft snack stuffed and covered in cocoa.



This mini-roll type snack is a bit ambiguous in its description of what it exactly is (soft snack). But we know it's meant to taste chocolate-y and cocoa-y, right? Except it doesn't. It tastes...like hazelnut - a quick look at the ingredients list reveals "hazelnut paste". Pretty nice actually. But the chocolate doesn't really act as a shell around the snack, more like extra mushy coating, and as such expectations may change how much/little you enjoy this.

Pros:
+20p!
+its taste may surprise you
+Ingredients list surprisingly slim

Cons:
-Packaging too tight - bar gets squashed when you open it
-no actual chocolate content - cocoa is a cop-out
-Chocolate coating too mushy.

60%

Also, you're totally right about the coconut Kit Kat Crunchy - not a good bar. Not a good bar at all.

Sour skittles!

As I was browsing a vending machine at college I noticed this beauty, Not sure if its just me but I haven't seen sour skittles in ages.

I have always been a fan of skittles although they do tend to make me feel slightly ill after eating lots of them, anyway the concept of sour skittles is both tempting and daring as they are even more sickly in large doses than the 'plain' ones.

So I ended up buying a packet, I found that each colour of skittle had its own distinct level of sourness as such they will be evaluated separately!

Purple- My personal favourite, the tangy sourness combines well with the slightly higher sweetness of this one as well as a distinct berry flavour - 10/10

Red - Not so sure about this one, is it meant to taste of a fruit? Anyway it was indeed sour, so it is acceptable -6/10

Yellow - The failure bunch, has no taste of lemon, isnt even sour, largely ineffective overall - 3/10

Green - A good sour apple flavour, goes well in tandem with the purple skittle - 8/10

Orange - Overall quite nice, although a very faint orange flavour, definitely sour! -7/10

I think that was all the flavours I had in my packet, although it indicates a blue flavour I received no such thing in the product I bought.

Overall a very good sweet, the sourness is on a moderate level so people who have fell victim to atomic waste sweets need not worry! As for the overall mark I give sour skittles a 73%, although a sweet I have fallen for, I question the strength of the fruitiness which would create a better sour experience. Also, on one occasion the vending machine ripped me off and didn't dispense a packet to my fury. Added to the fact that there was no blue skittle I feel as if I haven't tasted the whole rainbow.

JayMoyles wrote:

Were you eating it outside at midnight? It looks very dark wherever you are.

That was actually just my room, it really wasn't that dark at the time though.

I love sour skittles! There is no nicer sweet, apart from maybe Fizzy Cola Bottles but they get disappointing after the "fizz" is sucked off.

Evidently the Pom-Bear site is broken as it just asked me for a password to see that pic Sporky posted.

I too got pestered by Pom-Bears upon opening this thread.

(Limited Edition!) Mars Caramel



Pros:

Less calorific than a standard Mars Bar
Nice texture
Chewy caramel that doesn't destroy your teeth

Cons:

No nougat! It's just the chocolate and the caramel!
Much too sweet
Much too rich
Costs more than a standard Mars Bar
Much thinner than a standard Mars Bar

63%

A good idea, but it doesn't top the old Mars Bar recipe. Gets more things wrong than it gets right, but it isn't all that bad.

Balladeer wrote:

sucked off.

Stu_the_great wrote:

Balladeer wrote:

sucked off.

I can't believe you'd lower the tone of this thread like that. I'm offended.

Stu_the_great wrote:

Balladeer wrote:

sucked off.

This thread was making me hungry until exactly *this* point, then it me me laugh