Snacks! Reviews/'reviews' welcome

I'm not particularly fond of processed sliced cheese either, though it's great for things like burgers.

I have to admit I too have a thing for eating cheese out the packet, heck I even eat cottage cheese off a spoon sometimes. Blimey.

Tunnock's Tea Cakes



Pros:

Won all of Scotland's 53 medals at the Commonwealth Games (probably)
Just the right level of sweetness in the sticky marshmallow
Sophisticated wrapping makes you feel like a classy burd
Less than 100kcal per cake, making them a sneaky-but-none-too-guilty snack

Cons:

Fail to understand why they're called 'tea cakes'

89%

"The best of gear!". Accept no ASDA, Tesco, Sainsbury's, Mark's & Spencers, Gateway, Safeway or Kwik Save substitute. Delicious.

I presume you're meant to eat them with tea, and they're in that weird Jaffa land of "not quite a biscuit, more a cake."

...have you never eaten one, Jay?

Nah, course I have! Just responding to Cappa's comment about them being called teacakes.

Just checking. When you said "I presume you're meant to eat them with tea" it sounded like you were trying to piece together some details about some mystery food Flliiororops had just introduced to you.

Oh no, I always got a Tunnocks Teacake when I went to my Gran's when I was younger. Great little treat.

I've only had the cheap Cadbury's ones. I presume they're worse.

I've never had those, but I'd presume so, aye.

Aye, they're miles worse. I don't think you can get a bad tea cake, but Tunnock's Tea Cakes are Super Mario Galaxy and the Cadbury ones are Gex: Deep Cover Gecko.

If Scotland gets independence, am I still allowed the superior Tunnock's ones?

We'll smuggle them in for you, along with some Irn-Bru.

But they'll cost ye double the price.

I heard Tunnock's teacakes were going to serve as the currency of an independent Scotland...

Makes me think that if Scotland goes independent we're going to turn into a post-apocalyptic society.

...Fallout: New Glasgow?

@Jay you not seen the film doomsday

The Cappuccino Kid wrote:

Aye, they're miles worse. I don't think you can get a bad tea cake, but Tunnock's Tea Cakes are Super Mario Galaxy and the Cadbury ones are Gex: Deep Cover Gecko.

This. Even the Marks & Spencers teacakes aren't a match for the Tunnocks ones, the insides being too marshmallow-y. Though the biscuit base is cocoa which is a nice way to differentiate I guess.

Same goes for the Tunnock's caramel wafers.

The Cappuccino Kid wrote:

Killie Pie



Pros:

Impressively full - this is jam-packed (though not with jam, ya daft c**t)
Massive chunks of tender steak
Brilliant pepper seasoning
Big, thick pastry
Love the steak sauce

Cons:

Not convinced about those cooking instructions

92%

This is the real deal - it's reputation is well deserved. Honest to God, I've been to football games where this has been the highlight. One of Scottish football's greats. If you've got an Aldi near you, see if they've got them in.

I had a few of these the other day, top notch pie with other pies I tend to need a gravy or some sort of sauce to help them go down better but with this I didn't.

Cotton Candy Grapes


I don't know what dark grapparition appeared before the sick sorceror who constructed these, but this is some weird Willy Wonka shit right here. They're grapes but they straight-up taste of sugarry, vanilla sweets. It ain't right. This sort of witchcraft comes at a cost. Grapes were not supposed to have this flavour. Man was never supposed to wield this power. Terrible things will happen as a result of what has happened here, mark my words. Mother nature screams but we do not hear.

10/10

Wow... that's the first thing I've seen on these threads where I've thought "I've got to try these".

I've got to try these.

Sainsbury's Beef Burrito



Pros:

Hearty food for a hearty appetite
Tortilla is of surprisingly high standard for supermarket fare
Jam packed with beef and beans (but not so much else)

Cons:

Nearly tasteless
Needs seasoning
Lacks spice
Could use some sauce

55%

A bit of a disappointment. It just lacks any sort of vitality or kick. You could improve it quite easily, but on it's own it's pretty poor value at £3.70 and a dull recipie - I'd suggest Pinto or Taco Muzama if you're in Glasgow, but otherwise this might be your only shout if you're after a burrito.

The wee picture on the packaging puts me right off.

It really is a nightmare trying to get nice Mexican food this side of the pond, isn't it? I'd even settle for just something like taco bell taking off.

Jacob's Flatbreads Salt & Cracked Black Pepper



Pros:

Much better than the avergae water biscuit
Really light
Great with cheese, meat, hummus, lettuce...
Big pepper kick, not too dissimilar to a Bas Rutten kick to the liver
Not as fattening as Ryvita, which is obviosuly like a King Donner Hoaggie by comparison

Cons:

Quite a strong salty taste, verging on overwhelming

79%

"Thin, crispy and delicious, Jacob's Flatbreads are carefully baked using the finest quality ingredients. We suggest you enjoy them with your favourite topping to make a great tasting lunch". That's not only the product description, but exactly how I'm electing to end this review. Cheery-bye!

I love those flatbread style things, shame they are so expensive though compared to the normal crackers.

Marks & Spencer Fake Oreos



(The packaging has since changed since then, but I was unable to find a newer image)

I tried these because I love Oreos (who doesn't?) and I thought it'd be a laugh to see how good a knock-off they are.

They're pretty decent. I find the hungrier I am the closer they taste to the real thing, but the biscuit certainly tastes of Cocoa (but it's a fair bit softer and also looks a bit mangled) and the vanilla cream filling tastes as you'd expect. Leaves a bitter taste in your mouth which the Oreo doesn't, though, I don't think it's as sweet.

7/10